Catching Up

Sorry I've missed the blogosphere for a couple of weeks. Trust me, I miss it. There are so many things to rant and muse about. This is going to be a short post, just to update what I've been letting lurk in my brain.

First a musing. The Republican Primary contest. So enjoyable to watch the Republicans find their own candidates a bit nauseating. Whatever will they do? Wink, wink. I read a great article in Friday's Washington Post about how the Evangelical Christians, the Republicans most solid voting block, aren't excited about any of the Republican candidates for president, not at all surprising. Many expect this voting block to sit out the general election if Giuliani is the nominee because their one voting issue, abortion, will be a wash. It's just plain fun to watch this go down.

Now a ranting. Bush's veto of S-CHIP. I haven't fallen off the planet, but just haven't had the time to blog. Meanwhile, Bush has done the stupidest thing in his years as president (yes, I really feel that way). I'm so disgusted by the lies he's told to justify his position, and the outcome! To deny health care to millions (millions!!!!) of children. I'm truly sickened by it. So much so, I really can't write anything else. However, I do highly recommend reading this Paul Krugman's Op-Ed column on the issue.

Finally, I'll update on the baby situation. All is absolutely wonderful. I'm in the second trimester and most systems are functioning really well. Last week we had our sonogram and found out we're having a boy!!! I'm so excited. I really wanted a boy, but don't ask me to explain that. I think he's beautiful. Of course, seeing a black & white picture of him made by a contraption that uses sounds to create a picture is hardly the way to judge how beautiful he is, but trust me, he is wonderful. I'm feeling him move around more and more, which is so freaky and great.

I know many of you may have questions about lesbian pregnancy, like how did you do it and who's the daddy, etc. I'm inviting you to ask any and all questions and I will answer them in great detail in a future post. Please don't be shy. Bring it on.

Coffee tip: Get back to basics. Go buy some freshly roasted beans at a local coffee distributor. Get out the grinder and make yourself a fresh pot of coffee with freshly ground beans. Then sit back, sip and relax.

Coffee IS Good for You!

Recently, my partner decided to quit coffee, believing it is the culprit behind various maladies. As you would expect, quitting caused her great pains - headaches, fatigue, general feeling of daze. There's a school of thought that says if you have a caffeine high, you'll have a caffeine low and in order to be more even, you should quit the joe.

I couldn't disagree more. Yes, coffee must be addictive. Otherwise, why would quitting be so hard, and why do I continue to crave coffee's sweet nectar? But according to many, many studies summarized in a WebMD article, coffee is darn good for you! I'm not going to question the wisdom of these studies. No other drug gets such great press. Bottom line is that there is great benefit to drinking at least two cups of regular coffee a day.

Coffee isn't just the substance that keeps you regular anymore. It reduces your chances of getting serious diseases such as Diabetes and Parkinson's. It also reduces your chances of getting certain cancers. According to researchers, it's the caffeine in coffee that makes it so good. Yes, we drinkers of the juice know that already. But it's the caffeine that boosts our chances of staying healthy. There is more caffeine is a cup of coffee than there is in soda or chocolate. And coffee doesn't have to have the crap that soda and chocolate have. Coffee is pure.

Even decaf coffee offers some benefit, but not nearly as much as the beloved caffeinated version. Hey, it's in Wikipedia! There's also bunches of antioxidants in coffee. We love antioxidants. So don't fret my friends. Drink some joe.

Coitus and the Law

I read an article in the Baltimore Sun the other day that just blew me away. There is a case before the Maryland Court of Appeals that is trying to decide if an act is rape if the sex was initially consented to, but then objected to later in the act. This blows my mind. Apparently, there is actual law that discusses various stages of sex and whether or not consent is needed throughout. I feel like I'm on some other planet.

When the lawmakers get together and write these laws, do any of them ever think it odd that this should even be decided by them? How many years will it be before a woman's right to consent is no longer decided by lawmakers? It's taken us this long to acknowledge that rape occurs, which implies that woman have a right to consent. But what I didn't realize until reading this article was that after a woman says "yes," she has to keep going until the man is finished. Sure, she can say "no" but the guy doesn't have to stop, and when he doesn't stop he's not raping her.

Help me understand how this happened. Help me understand how anyone ever felt entitled to write laws that govern when women can consent to sex and when they can't. Apparently, when a woman consents to sex, she's entered into a binding contract. What would happen if a man took a woman to court for not completing her obligation? "She said yes, and half-way through she wanted to stop which caused me duress. I'm suing for damages. She broke her contract." That's absurd, right? You know, I know it may be inconvenient to have to stop in the middle, but life is full of inconveniences.

Clearly, our laws still favor a man's right to sex. A woman, by her biological nature, is obligated to provide sex to a man, except under certain circumstances. You can say "no" and then the man has to respect that, but if you say "yes" you are fully obligated to follow through.

If the court doesn't rule in favor of changing the law, the only recourse will be the legislature. I'm having reflux here. The argument to keep the law the same will be to reduce the instances that woman will cry "rape" when, according to men, rape didn't occur. But our justice system should be able to discern a real rape. And frankly, that's just a fear tactic played on the feeble sensibilities of men who aren't sure they want their own sexual behavior to undergo scrutiny.

I hope the court will see fit to make the right decision on behalf of women.

Another topic - City Cafe in Mt. Vernon. I went there this morning to study and I bought a fresh squeezed orange juice ($2.95) and a bagel. After a while I decided to order some soup. When I went back to the counter, one of the staff was preparing more cups of fresh squeezed OJ. The City Cafe gets its fresh squeezed OJ from cartons of Tropicana Orange Juice - No Pulp. Hey, if you're going to lie about your product, maybe you should prepare it out of sight of the customers. Just a thought.

Can we solve our marriage crisis?

This is the only place I can really rant. Believe it or not, some people don't like to hear me rant. I don't know why. I'm actually a little unprepared. I should really post my rants right when the mood hits me. But that's usually when I'm in my car with nothing but my thoughts to occupy me.

Let me go back and revisit some recent topics. Specifically, gay marriage in Maryland. You can go back and read my previous post on the topic. Now that the court has ruled against gay marriage, the issue, and the solution, falls back into the hands of us gay folks and our allies. After reading some of the analysis on the court case itself, I have to admit that I think we've pursued the wrong path from the beginning. I've always thought the gay marriage battle was premature. I've since altered that position, but not completely. It's premature for many of us who had no need to get married. But after being with my partner for over six years, and now that we're starting a family, the need for marriage laws is a much higher priority for me. I think that gays and lesbians who are arguing that pursuing gay marriage is premature ought to consider that their position is influenced by their current, probably stable, personal situation.

None-the-less, politically, it is clear that the will to give GLBT citizens equal access to marriage equality just doesn't exist. It doesn't exist anywhere, even in Massachusetts. In Massachusetts, the supreme court ruled in favor of gay families, but at least a slight majority of citizens disagreed with the ruling. Subsequently, the state legislature began a bloody battle of trying to change their constitution to specifically prohibit gay marriage. The effort failed, thankfully, in part to getting a new governor who didn't support the measure. And so gay marriage exists in one state of the union.

In many other states, gay marriage has been outright rejected, or ignored, and on occasion, "compromised" into something called civil unions. While Maryland has been able to defeat amendments to our state's constitution banning gay marriage, actually getting pro-gay marriage legislation passed is another matter altogether.

One newspaper article questioned the timing of the lawsuit. Apparently our Court of Appeals was pretty conservative, but two judges were nearing their mandated retirement. Just in time for our newly elected Democratic governor to appoint new ones. Most of us believe he'll appoint progressive judges to the court. With his wife being a judge, our governor has a pretty intimate knowledge of the candidate pool. Anyway, the question is, why not wait for this opportunity? It seems that a different set of judges would have ruled in our favor. No guarantees, obviously, but our chances would have been better. I've heard that our lobbying group, Equality Maryland, was frustrated at their lack of progress during the recent Republican administration and decided to take their legal battles to the court. I think the families who were a part of that lawsuit were counseled poorly. We've suffered a setback and I think it will take us a good amount of time to overcome it.

Let's consider the landscape. Our state is facing a $1.5 billion budget deficit that must be overcome in order to balance the budget, which is required by law. For years, long before our Republican governor came and went, legislators have been crying for structural changes in the budget to fix the bothersome deficit. O'Malley, newly elected governor, has decided to take it on. I don't like all his strategies (and I'll write about that some other time), but his effort is long overdue and really brave. Most importantly, it will take all the political muscle he can muster up. You see, the plan involves taxes, and lots of them. There will be very little room left in his legislative agenda for anything else. He will blow all his favors on getting his budget bills passed. Gay marriage will be so far off his radar screen, not to mention that of our legislature's, we don't have a snowball's chance in hell (I've always wanted to use that saying) of being successful this year.

How do you think our brave GLBT lobby will handle this situation? They're going to ignore it. This is our greatest downfall. We're going to act like there is nothing else as important as getting the right to marry. We're going to march into our legislator's office, piled with over 1,000 bills, and scream and yell about how we're being discriminated against and insist they drop everything to correct this injustice. That will be our first mistake. We won't look at the big picture. We'll act like our heads have been buried in the sand. Forget the deficit! I want to plan my wedding!

Listen, I want to get married. Believe me, I'm scared for my child and what obstacles Caroline and I will have to overcome being gay parents. But most people can't sympathize with my position. They don't understand, and during a 90-day legislative session, they don't have enough time to learn. What are we doing about it now? Before the fun begins? Where is the organizing of Equality Maryland? All they care about is their upcoming fundraiser. It doesn't cost much to start a letter-writing campaign. You've got a contact list, send an email. Our legislators need to start hearing from us now. But nope. Equality Maryland is more concerned about pulling off another great gig, and maybe we'll hear from them again in January.

Well, I'm going to write to my legislators. They need to hear from us. They need to know how marriage discrimination is affecting our everyday lives. I don't think we'll solve our marriage crisis this year, but if we could, we're getting a really slow start.

Wealthy Can Afford Raise in Top Tax Rate

Gov. Martin O'Malley should be commended for the changes he's proposing to Maryland's income tax rates ("O'Malley details cut in income tax," Sept. 20).

Although the changes are relatively modest, Mr. O'Malley has approached income tax reform in a fair way.

Given Maryland's status as the richest state in the union, those earning salaries above $150,000 should be able to cough up an additional 1 percent of their income to continue to enjoy the services they receive from our government.

Most Republicans applauded President Bush when he implemented his devastating tax cuts.

Now Mr. O'Malley wants to give working families a break by making our tax code more progressive, and the Republicans are trying to find something wrong with the plan.

But the fact is that you can only cut so much from the budget while demanding road and bridge repairs, new schools, and better government services.

And since the changes in the income tax system are the fairest part of Mr. O'Malley's deficit-reduction plan, that proposal deserves a chance.

Aimee Darrow

Baltimore

This was published in today's Baltimore Sun

. What I can do now is add the parts the editor cut out. Most importantly, I pointed out that when Bush sent everyone those ridiculous $100 checks, the Republicans almost wet their pants telling us how fair he was to working families. O'Malley's new income tax plan will save most Marylanders about the same amount of money annually.

I also noted that the Republicans all support slot machine gambling to raise revenue, which is most devastating to low-income families. It seems like they want Maryland's low-income families to shoulder the burden of closing our deficit. It's only fair that wealthier Marylanders pay their fair share.

On to another topic, I've added some cool new links you should check out to further your knowledge of the great world of coffee. Check out Coffee Universe which should also be known as "Coffee University" for all the good information it has. I also added a link to Paul Krugman's blog, which I mentioned a couple posts ago. In the future, I'll be adding some GLBT parenting sites.

This Sunday is a beautiful day for that perfect cup of coffee and some knitting. Kick back and enjoy.

Don't read the message boards

Not only is this the week GLBT Marylanders were let down by our court system, but it is also the week of Jena 6. This is an amazing issue, especially considering the decades that have passed since segregation and Jim Crow. The injustice against these six kids in a small southern town has incensed most of us who believe in fairness, justice and equality. It makes me feel ashamed that our country can't let go of its racist roots. How far will we have to dig to rid ourselves of this blatant racism?

I hate to recap because I'm sure I'll miss important details, so be sure to check out the NAACP's website for the most up-to-date information on the case. Here's what I know - About a year ago, some black students in Jena, Louisiana, asked their principal if they could sit under a tree known to be the "white" tree. Of course they were granted permission (although why they even had to ask is beyond me). But the following day, three nooses were hung from the tree. Clearly this is a hate crime and an act of intimidation that hales back decades. The school administrators called it a prank and left it at that. The incident led to mutual aggressions between black and white students. One of those aggressions were these six students beating up a white student until he fell unconscious. That student was treated at a hospital and released after a couple of hours. I read somewhere that he attended a school event that same evening. The six black students were arrested and charged with attempted murder. Outrageous. After several incidents, these were the only students to be arrested and the charges brought against them clearly didn't match the crime. Anyway, what followed was a series of injustices against these six students, leading one to continue to be incarcerated to this day.

Yesterday, the NAACP and others organized a rally at Jena to protest the injustice that continues with their legal system. Similar protests were held all over the country, including Baltimore. It feels good that people are recognizing the injustice and not being complacent. These protests should really have an effect on the outcome of the pending cases and hopefully the prosecutor will be disciplined for his clearly racist agenda.

The Baltimore Sun covered the protests in Jena and locally. The Sun also printed coverage of the recent Court of Appeals case decided against gay marriage. Curiosity got the best of me and I peeked at the message boards that responded to the two articles. I wanted to see what regular people were saying about the various issues. What I found was really disturbing. It seems like people feel that they can be outwardly hateful on the boards.

Here's an example from the Jena 6 story:

This makes me sick. I am a minority and I completely disagree with this whole Jena Six nonsense. The student who did the "prank" was suspended from the school he was attending. Had those six black students protested back then, maybe they would have some leverage to say he should have charges agaisnt him. Instead they beat the kid unconscious. That's attempted murder. That is clearly defined in the law of our country. What black people are arguing is that serious violence is ok, so long as you are retaliating in response to a racial slur or a racial scene. Haning nooses on a tree was wrong, but who did it hurt? It hurt the student. The black kids could have gotten him back by desecrating a KKK hood or something similar. Instead they went way beyond what was necessary and almost killed him. I can't believe the so many people are so ignorant to this situation. Dr. MLK Jr. wouldn't even condone the actions of those black students. Racism is wrong... but physically attacking someone is worse. No Justice No Peace? Yea, take some of your own advice.

And from the gay marriage board:

It is about time that common sense prevailed. Men who want to marry men are perverts. Women who want to marry women are perverts.

I commend the court for upholding the ban on same sex marriages! Marriage is a sacred bond between a MAN & a WOMAN!! Personally, I think it should be banned in all 50 states! Hopefully other states will follow suit and follow MD down the non-rainbow road!

To all those that oppose gay marriage: I hope you have daughters, and that those daughters marry gay men that have been beaten back into the closet by your own ignorance and proselytism. (This guy really let the posters get to him. Why would anyone wish that on an innocent straight girl?)

So, is everyone in favor of letting bi-sexual polygamists marry multiple partners of different genders? How about a father marrying a consenting adult daughter? Are Homosexuals going to draw the line at their behavior or will they push the envelope for incestuous marriage, etc?

Wow, ignorance is powerful! We can't stop teaching people about our history. We're not ready to move on yet. For now, I've learned not to read the message boards.

The End of Times Select!

In the wake of a devastating decision by Maryland's highest court to reject equality, the New York Times makes a decision to embrace it. No, I'm not talking about GLBT equality. I'm talking about the end of Times Select, the members only section of NYTimes.com. All the best features were saved to those who subscribed, which I refused to do. Now, as of today, they've put and end to it and opened up the months of columns and features that have been denied to us. Archives are free to view.

I have a lot of catching up to do. My favorite columnist, Paul Krugman, is now available to preach to me twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays. And he's got a blog! It's called The Conscience of a Liberal which is also the title of his latest book. I can't get into all the reasons I love Paul Krugman, but I assure you, he's worth the read.

I want to commend the New York Times for ending Times Select. I can now fully enjoy the NYTimes.com experience.

Bring on the coffee (still decaf)!