I Feel Like Crying

For two reasons. Of course, the obvious one is the election of Barack Obama to President of the United States. I'm so thrilled and happy and moved at the outcome of this election. I truly believe that our nation will be able to heal from two terms of the divisive, fear-mongering politics of George Bush. Obama is a smart man who clearly wants what's best for the American people and is not beholden to rich corporations and big oil companies. We will see what's possible in solving our nation's problems. It's a good day for America.

Reason two is less optimistic. It appears that California's Proposition 8, banning gay marriage, is headed for a victory. There are still votes left to be counted, but it doesn't look good. It's obviously better if an outcome is not decided by absentee voters. Here I am truly disheartened by the turn of events. I had hoped that with the legalization of gay marriage in one of the largest states in the county, the rest of the country would soon follow suit. A general rule is that as California goes, so goes the rest of the country.

So what does today mean for gays and lesbians? It's hard to say. We're all excited that a Democrat took our country's highest office, but gay marriage isn't on his agenda. However, equal rights is on his agenda so maybe we'll see improvements on that front. But it is clear that marriage is getting further and further out of reach. Now that I have a child, the differences between marriage and any other "union" are crystal clear. I wanted a world for my son in which our family would look like any other. And it will in most respects, but most two-parent families involve the marriage of those two parents. I want to get health insurance for my partner. And I want there to be no question that she, too, is our son's mother. Now all I can say is that I hope one day in my lifetime I will see it happen.

It's possible. I know many African Americans who never dreamed a day would come when a black man was elected president. Now that day has arrived and as I said earlier, it is a good day for America. I'm elated at the direction our country has taken. It was a decisive victory and his mandate is clear. I know he is up for the challenge of leading our country during this difficult time. I am so confident of it that I finally feel like I can breath freely again.

It is a double-edged sword today. I want to celebrate with the rest of my friends the amazing victory of Barack Obama, but I also feel pain in my heart for my family and my friends since we will continue to feel bitter discrimination. I cannot reconcile these two places that I stand. Our country has taken a great step forward. But gays and lesbians have just been slapped.