I'm Back... and Just In Time

Hi all, I'm back from a hiatus. This has been a challenging month, one in which blogging the randomness of my mind just wasn't going to happen. Basically, I've been preoccupied with my friend's family crisis. I didn't want to blog about it, but I will a bit today.

My best friend, T, had a family emergency in October. Her husband had a stroke caused by a large brain tumor. He has brain cancer at 43. The surgeons didn't expect him to survive the surgery, but he did. His prognosis for the cancer, however, is uncertain. And the stroke itself caused significant damage. He's lost all mobility on his right side. He's been in the hospital since the stroke, though he could be released any day now. He's currently undergoing chemotherapy and radiation for the cancer. They have two children, 6 and 3.

I can't believe T has to go through this. My heart is breaking for her. I can't imagine what it is to have life change so drastically and so permanently in a moment's time. She's trying to make sure her husband gets the best treatment while also keeping life as stable and normal as possible for their children. A 6-year old and 3-year old can't be expected to understand what's happening to their father. For them, it must be the worst feeling in the world to see him in the hospital, head shaved and unable to talk.

Caroline and I went to see her the week of Thanksgiving. T lives in California and I'm here in Baltimore. I feel so helpless being so far from her and the kids. My brief visit wasn't all that helpful. What can I do in a few days to help with a lifetime of changes? I struggled with my need to be helpful and T's need to be independent, strong, and normal. She deals with this day in and day out. She knows she has to find time to go to the grocery store, do the laundry, play with the kids. She can't rely on me who's only there a few days. It was hard.

I love them all so much. But really, what could anyone do? One of the worst things that could happen has happened, not to me but to her. I will be here however she needs me and I hope that brings her a little bit of comfort.

So as I bring myself back to my here and now, this situation makes me think about universal healthcare. It's what the Democrats want to bring to the table if they are elected president. Most of the major candidates have a universal healthcare proposal. Paul Krugman has recently criticized Barack Obama's plan (read this column and this one). The basic flaw in Obama's plan is the lack of a mandate stating everyone must buy into the plan. He's throwing out some Republican garbage about not having mandates, but the effect is to weaken the plan. He says you don't have to buy into the plan if you don't want to but the plan will be there when you need it. So many folks won't buy the insurance until they need it shifting the cost of the plan onto those who buy it now.

This has given me some pause with Barack. A few months ago he was saying all the right things about gay marriage. I was almost ready to settle on him as my candidate. But then he invited this anti-gay minister to speak at one of his rallies and now there's this misguided anti-mandate in his "universal" healthcare proposal. He's heading down the same path Howard Dean did for me four years ago. I was a Deaniac. I liked him a lot. But then Howie stuck his foot in his mouth over and over again on some foreign policy issues (long before the infamous Iowa screaming) and I became disappointed in him. I didn't care for Kerry or Edwards and so I was left without a candidate.

The same is going to happen this time around. I'm not thrilled about Hillary. Not at all. She certainly won't advance the gay agenda very far, if at all, and that's important to me as I bring a child into the world with my partner. It doesn't really matter what I think though. The nomination will be wrapped up before Maryland has its say.

However, if you want some help picking your candidate, the Washington Post has crafted this handy Candidate Quiz. It takes a little time to work all the way through it, but it's comprehensive. It's based on candidate answers to a bunch of questions. I quit a little over half way through since it seemed like there was one candidate that was standing out above the rest. Turned out to be John Edwards. Thing is, I don't really believe Edwards is genuine. I think he's just saying what he's saying to win the nomination. His "son of the working class" theme just hits me the wrong way. That's the flaw in the quiz. You have to take all the answers at face value. By the way, there's a quiz for the Republicans too. I'm thinking about trying it to see who the least detestable candidate is.

Aimee for Mayor!

In Baltimore's September 11 Democratic primary, I'm writing in a new candidate for mayor - me. Even with nine candidates to choose from, there's no one I find inspiring, much less qualified. The front-runners are current Mayor Sheila Dixon and City Councilman Keiffer Mitchell. I started out supporting Mitchell, primarily because he was the best of the challengers. Sheila, as most people call her, has too many issues with her ethics. She's also never had an innovative idea in her entire career. What Sheila doesn't understand is that ethics is not just about what is legal or not, but what appears improper. She has disregarded the law on several occasions and claimed ignorance. Sheila has been acting like her sister's employment agency for years. It's a hard pill to swallow. But she put the cherry on top when she hired her sister to work her campaign. That's not illegal, but after several ethics investigations involving her behavior and her sister, you'd think she would know to avoid anything that could be perceived as improper. But that's typical Sheila.




Given Sheila's issues, I was ready to vote for Keiffer. However, Keiffer has just pushed my commitment too far. His campaign adds have been so negative and have exploited Baltimore's homicide problem. One of his ads goes so far as to feature a gun shot and an implied death of a youth. I was totally turned off by this. I was going to hold my nose and vote for him anyway, but then he really went south. He hired Julius Henson. Julius Henson has a checkered past in the campaign world. He's considered a "dirty" campaigner. He referred to a Bob Erhlich as a "nazi" in 2002. Now I don't like Erhlich, but that's just unnecessary. He plays the race card too freely, just to make noise. It's a sad turn of events in a campaign for a decent guy. It just goes to far and I can't hold my nose anymore.





Trouble is, I don't like any of the other candidates, so I'm turning to someone I can trust. Of course my one vote for me won't make much of a difference in the outcome of this race, but at least I won't feel bad when I leave the polls.





At least there is one candidate I am excited about. I'm voting for Michael Sarbanes for City Council President. He's a man who's spent most of his life in some sort of public service. I'm not going to give you his life story, you can check out his website for that. But when you compare him to the others, it's a clear choice. Anyway, Sarbanes has real ideas and experience to implement them. And he's not a typical politician. He believes in pushing the boundaries of his position to the limit to create positive change. I'm looking forward to his win.





Till next time, I'm going to sip a latte.

Our Democratic Presidential Candidates on Gay Rights

An historic moment occurred the other night when HRC and Logo got the Democratic Presidential candidates together to question them on their positions on a host of gay rights issues. This has never happened before in a presidential race, and the outcome was very enlightening. Be sure to check out the video of the candidates here. The reason this debate is so important to me, is that somehow, I will have to distinguish between these candidates that are all basically the same. And these are the issues that are incredibly personal to me, so it's a good start.

I heard about the forum the next morning on NPR. My alarm woke me up to Barack Obama explaining why he supports civil unions, but not civil marriage (a position almost all the candidates have). Barack Obama supports full civil rights for gays and lesbians. He believes civil unions will be equal to civil marriage. But for him “marriage” can have religious connotations. For him, it's just a matter of semantics. He says semantics may be important to some, why not say it’s important to him? Because if it is just semantics, then why would it hurt to give us marriage instead of unions? Listen to yourself, Barack. Another little thing that pissed me off, was that he believes this isn't the time to fight for marriage rights. We should be focused on other more concrete civil rights issues like ending discrimination in the workplace, etc. The real issues with day to day consequences as he sees it. He doesn't believe our inability to marry one another and have the over 1,000 rights associated with marriage has day to day consequences. What's wrong with this picture?

Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton did no better, which is a shame. Frankly, I'm leaning toward voting for her, but sometimes she makes it hard for me. Her position is much less eloquent and frankly, misguided.

What she says here is that the states should continue to decide for themselves if they will allow gay marriage. Any idiot can see this is NOT in the best interests of gays and lesbians. Basically, she's saying it's okay that gays and lesbians won't know from state to state what level of rights they have. One state can have marriage, like Massachusetts. The next could have civil unions, like Vermont, and the next after that could have the klan, like any state in the south. Give me a break. She actually points out that many states outlawed any type of union for gays and lesbians, but then overlooks that fact by saying some states have taken a different position. How can this be okay? What is she smoking? Also, she doesn't suggest repealing DOMA altogether, but just the part that says states may not acknowledge the rights of other states.

This is a huge set back in my support of Hillary. While Barack talked in circles about semantics, he's at least consistent in his support that gays and lesbians need full equal rights in our society, not just state by state. If the country were completely (or more so than right now) in favor of gay marriage, you'd see all these politicians change their tunes.

Let me leave you with words from my favorite candidate who, sadly, will never get elected, Senator Mike Gravel who seems truly sincere in his support for gay marriage.

At least I get to hear these words of wisdom during the campaign. I'll be sad when we don't hear from him any longer after the first primaries are held and he drops out. Stay strong Mike!

What happened to the news?

Let me lament again about my abscence from this blog. Once I think things have settled down, something unsettles again. That's life.

The familial visits are over for now. They went pretty well. I didn't snap at my mother until the last day of her visit. That's a real accomplishment for me. Usually I start snapping right away. I discovered a great activity to do with her. Cards. She remembers how to play canasta, so the three of us, my mom, me and Caroline, spent many hours doing that. I also had my brother, Stuart, stay with me one night. This, too, was a great accomplishment because he's disabled. I wasn't sure how he would do with the change in his routine, but he was great. I'll definitely do that again. And my mom appreciated having more time with him. So all worked out well.

I'm glad for the break, though. It's nice to just be me and Caroline again. And the cats, of course. And it's my favorite time of day again - Monday morning, with my cup of coffee.

I thought I'd revisit some of my previous posts. Specifically the one about where to get your news. Newspapers change their online formats every once in a while, trying to keep up with what's trendy and make a more user-friendly website. However, I find that at times, they make their sites too trendy and it no longer seems newspaperish. I'm referring right now to the Washington Post. (Although the most recent website to undergo such a change is the Baltimore Sun.)

Remember how I said that I liked the little gossipy quality about the Post? Well, they've taken it to a whole new level, and I have to put my foot down. The post has a section covering the presidential race called The Trail, and it's written like a blog. All articles covering the campaigns are placed in this section. It has really dumbed down the discussion to nothing but gossip. There's very little analysis, which is what I'm looking for. I think they've added this "blog" to their website to appeal to a younger audience, or something like that, but they've reduced their reporting so much, I can't read it anymore. Take, for example, the much criticized article about Hillary Clinton's cleavage. Why would the Post spend any ink on this? How is it at all relevant? And where are the corrosponding articles about the male candidates' asses and penis buldges?

I'm surprised there isn't an article discussing Barack Obama's anatomy. I mean, isn't that what everyone wonders about with African American men? How big is it really??? Of course, after the noise made about the article, the Post gets to do what all newspapers love to do ... write a story about itself. The Baltimore Sun is a regular culprit of this tactic. They love the attention. And so does the Post. It's news, right? Nope.

Anyway, this has all been really disappointing, especially since I regularly enjoyed my political news from the Post. I will click on a news title and hope it was originally published in the print version, but that's becoming increasingly rare. And The Trail is nothing but a waste of time, in my opinion. I'll be searching elsewhere for the good political stories and get back to you.

This weekend I enjoyed two great t.v. programs - the X Games, and beach volleyball. Girls in bikinis playing volleyball. Of course, as Caroline pointed out, they don't have any boobies. That's true, but easily overlooked as the rest of the package is nice. I have to assume that men love to watch this sport too, which makes me feel a little less proud of myself. I love the X Games. I love watching sports like skateboarding. I can't believe what these guys and gals do on a little board with wheels. It's been good entertainment.

Keep the caffeine coming.

He's not going to win, but...

...I love him.




I never heard of Senator Mike Gravel from Alaska until this debate (South Carolina). Even after two terms in the Senate, he believes in peace and he's a radical (comparatively). Listen to what he's got to say. I wish he could be rewarded for his positions with votes, but we don't vote for ideas anymore. Not at this level. Barack and Hillary have already been ordained as the two we get to choose from. I don't have a problem with either of them. I like them both. But they will never say anything too creative or go out on a limb.

Our process for picking candidates guarantees we'll never get anyone that strays too far from the center. The differences will be nuanced. Of course, I desperately want to see a Democrat in the White House, but it's mostly because of what they won't do rather than what they will do. They won't appoint a justice to the Supreme Court who doesn't agree with Roe v. Wade. They won't sign the Federal Marriage Amendment. They won't use gay issues to divide the nation.

But (sadly) I doubt they will provide health care for all. I doubt our schools will improve under a Democrat. The nuance here is that I know under a Republican, we won't have health care for all. I know our schools won't improve. You see the differences are pretty small.

But I don't know if I can survive another term of Republican arrogance. I don't know if our country could survive it. So take a look at Senator Gravel, and dream, just for a second, that our candidates will have such brave ideas. And then just wait and see who wins the fundraising war.

Coffee tip #5: Today was a heat advisory day, with temperatures reaching 100 degrees. For the die hard "don't water down my coffee" iced coffee drinker, try making coffee ice cubes. Put those in your iced coffee and never experience watered down coffee again! Or, put some toothpicks in the ice tray and make coffee popsicles. Yum!