Now is the Time

I'm not going to talk presidential primaries. What I would like to talk about is the new level of oppression I'm experiencing as a lesbian. Not a great way to start off a topic, I'll admit. The problem is that now that the baby is nearly due, my partner and I are getting our "affairs" in order, as they say. Wills, powers-of-attorney, adoption. Because we're not married, we can't assume our family is secure. We have to weave our safety net together from scratch. We own a house together, but because we're not married, I have to specifically leave my interest in the house to my partner in a will. It doesn't even matter that both our names are on the deed! How crazy is that?

She's not my next of kin, so I have to label her the beneficiary to my life insurance. She's not my wife, so I have to create a living will which names her as my health care agent. She's not our child's mother until some court says so, so if something goes wrong when I give birth, our lawyer's number is on the speed dial. We have to prove to the court that we conceived of this child together, even though we truly conceived the child together! She gave me the sperm. She was there too. And when she files her taxes, she has to say she's single, even though she and I are about to have our first child together. We can't put each other on our health insurance plans even though it would save us money. We can't protect one another without a litany of legal documents.

It's unfair. It truly is. These are not the principles our country was founded on. Just because a history of oppression exists, doesn't mean it is right. I've thought a lot about this. Gays and lesbians are not receiving equal representation under the law. If someone is being denied their rights, our elected officials should stand up and do something about it. Neither of us has committed a crime, but we're treated with hostility by the law. As a matter of fact, both of us work for society's greater good, doing non-profit work. That's not a requirement for rights, mind you, but it's just ironic.

This year, the Maryland General Assembly is going to consider gay marriage, but I'm not holding my breath. There's no way that bill will get further than committee. Our legislators already pushed the envelope with higher taxes (which I supported) and they aren't going to cast another difficult vote this year. Unfortunately, I'm feeling more urgent than ever that something needs to happen. My family's well-being is at risk. Now may not be the time for politicians, but the time is long overdue for me and all the other GLBT families out there.

No one gains by oppressing and denying others. I'm frustrated by this everyday. No one has a right to define my family for me or take away my ability to care for it and protect it.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here.

Just a quick note, I like feeling right. Since I said no presidential primary talk, I'll make this brief. I know I've said it recently, the Dems will have a really difficult time winning back the White House if McCain wins the primary. It feels good when someone who gets paid to have opinions agrees with me. Check out this Op-Ed piece from today's Washington Post.