On a More Personal Note

I've been getting bogged down in politics. It's hard to avoid because I love it, but I don't want it to become all consuming. For those who love my political banter, don't worry. I can't resist being an armchair pundit.

However, today I'd like to just catch up on my personal life for those of you folks who actually read this. The countdown to delivery is getting dramatically smaller and smaller. I used to count this in months. Now it's weeks. Five weeks to be exact. It's fair to say I'm freaking out a bit.

It's a whirlwind of emotions really. I'm so excited to meet my son and be able to hold him in my arms and look into his eyes. I can't wait to see him in Caroline's arms. Our love grows more and more everyday and he's not even here yet!

I visit the message boards on Babycenter.com. There's actually a bunch of message boards for GLBT parents. My signature has a little tickler. It looks something like this:

Isn't it cute? I like to post on the boards just so I can see how the numbers change from day to day. Less than 40 days to go! I can't believe it.

The other part of the whirlwind is fear. I'm so scared something will go wrong like I won't be able to get him out or something like that. I know that's a little silly. I mean, women give birth everyday. It's a job that doesn't require any prior experience. My body will take over. I just have to learn to let that happen and trust that nature knows what it's doing. It's kind of funny that I just think too much. This is just one of those times where IQ plays no part.

So that's where we are today. Baby is weeks away from arrival. Caroline worked on the nursery this past weekend. She dismantled the guest room and put the crib together. Lined up all the Pooh animals. Hung the curtains.

I feel like a house. I'm so huge I can't even remember what it was like when I could bend down and reach my feet. My body doesn't resemble anything I once knew. It's comical at times.

To top it off, I got all my hair cut off. I've been growing my hair to donate to Locks of Love. It's a great organization that helps disadvantaged children suffering from medical hair loss (often due to cancer or some other condition). They make wigs from donated hair. I was moved to contribute my hair after participating in the Race for a Cure in 2006. I wanted to do something more personal in the fight against cancer. And those who know me, know that I'm vain about only one or two things, my hair being number 1. So I thought it would be really significant to grow it out to give to someone else. And now my hair is insanely short! Here's the end result:

The donated hair is actually 11 or 12 inches long, but my hair is a bit curly, so it's hard to tell. I'm sending that pony tail off to Locks of Love today.

Finally, I'll leave you with my most recent belly shot. This is me at 34 weeks pregnant (8.5 months):

What did I tell you? A house.

This Way or That???

I know I'm confusing things with this post, but I have to share this Paul Krugman editorial from Monday. It's nothing new, per se, but it again revists the difference in Hillary Clinton's and Barack Obama's "universal" healthcare proposals.

This is the biggest policy issue I have with Obama. He has demonized mandates which are just plain necessary if our true goal is universal healthcare.

You might be saying, Hey, make up your mind already! I have. Like I said before, I'm voting for Obama. Again, it's about who will win the general election and I think his chances are better. But we have to stay informed on this issue because when it comes before congress, we, you and I, have to act.

Also, Obama's position on GLBT rights is SO much better than Hillary's. I've talked about that before too.

Just a note, check out the links over to the right. I've added a new one called Maryland Politics Watch. I thought this was interesting, but warning, it's PG and Montgomery County focused as far as I can see. The title of the blog is misleading and all the contributors live in the DC suburbs.

Now What? Or Who?

I've been saying for weeks that my vote won't count when the Maryland primary rolls around. Guess I was wrong. But what I'm not wrong about is the threat that is John McCain. And this is what my vote will be about on February 12.

For months I anticipated that Giuliani or Romney was going to be the Republican nominee. In either scenario, the general election was going to be a breeze, enjoyable even. Now, Giuliani is done and after Tuesday, I expect Romney will be too. A general election against McCain will be tough and hardly enjoyable.

Here's the situation. McCain is on his way to winning the nomination. During the Republican debate in California the other night, Romney was constantly on the defensive. It appeared really easy for McCain to be the reasonable truthful one while Romney spent all his air time on rebuttal after rebuttal. Given that the Republican field never had a "favorite," it won't be that difficult for McCain to keep the tide flowing his way.

Even though the Democrats have narrowed their field to two, the outcome is not as certain. It's anyone's guess who's going to take this contest. That's why the ambitious John Edwards isn't picking sides. He's hedging his bets and hoping he'll find a place in one of their administrations.

It's been a rare occasion for us Marylanders to have any say in Democratic nominee. I thought the contest would be decided by now, so I was ready to vote for one of my lefty favorites. Now I have to take this vote seriously (not that voting isn't serious, but you know what I mean).

So how really should one decide between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? This is the question of the day. Either nominee is historic. And despite what people will say about Hillary Clinton, she is not business as usual. A woman in the White House is change. Barack Obama doesn't have a monopoly on representing change. As a matter of fact, despite his race, a man in the White House would be more like business as usual than Hillary Clinton. Will his race really affect his decision-making? I doubt it. The historic nature of having an African American in the White House means that despite the persistant nature of racism, our country is really moving towards healing the racial divide. Barack could really have a huge impact as president on our racial problems.

Hillary has tried to make the contest about young versus experienced. She knows how to get things done. She has the command of the issues that Barack doesn't have because he hasn't been around long enough. He's a great public speaker, very inspirational, but according to Clinton, it ends there and that's not enough for the next president. Obama says he does understand the issues and he's always on the right side of them. He believes we need inspiration and a commitment to heal our country. He's right. And so is she.

Neither will talk about electability, but that's what we need to talk about today. A year ago, the Democrats were on top. They were starting a new term with Dems in control. The tide of the country was change. We were tired of the disaster the Republicans have made of the war and home. A year ago, electability was not one of our problems. Today, with McCain as the nominee, it is the problem.

And the answer is to vote for Barack Obama. This isn't an endorsement or anything. As I have stated before and implied above, either Hillary or Barack would make a good president. But they have to win a general election first. And that's why Barack is who I'm voting for. I can't take another Republican president. It sickens me. We HAVE to win.

Just close your eyes for a minute and clear your head. Then, imagine a picture of McCain versus Clinton. What's your gut telling you? Now, imagine a picture of McCain versus Obama. What's your gut telling you now? If you're paying attention, you know that Hillary doesn't have a chance against McCain. While the Democrats could swallow a McCain win, Republicans will succede from the nation if Hillary wins. As one pundit has said, Hillary has toxic coat-tails.

Barack does inspire and that is what's going to help him win. Hillary inspires, but she inspires the wrong people. She inspires the Republicans to get off their butts and vote against her. As unfair as it is that Hillary has been judged so harshly, it's the reality. I'm not going to roll the dice on this election just because I think Hillary has been held to a higher standard and been set up to fail.

That's the direction this primary season has taken us. The Democrats are going to make history by electing a minority as their nominee. Hopefully, the country will follow suit in November.

Now is the Time

I'm not going to talk presidential primaries. What I would like to talk about is the new level of oppression I'm experiencing as a lesbian. Not a great way to start off a topic, I'll admit. The problem is that now that the baby is nearly due, my partner and I are getting our "affairs" in order, as they say. Wills, powers-of-attorney, adoption. Because we're not married, we can't assume our family is secure. We have to weave our safety net together from scratch. We own a house together, but because we're not married, I have to specifically leave my interest in the house to my partner in a will. It doesn't even matter that both our names are on the deed! How crazy is that?

She's not my next of kin, so I have to label her the beneficiary to my life insurance. She's not my wife, so I have to create a living will which names her as my health care agent. She's not our child's mother until some court says so, so if something goes wrong when I give birth, our lawyer's number is on the speed dial. We have to prove to the court that we conceived of this child together, even though we truly conceived the child together! She gave me the sperm. She was there too. And when she files her taxes, she has to say she's single, even though she and I are about to have our first child together. We can't put each other on our health insurance plans even though it would save us money. We can't protect one another without a litany of legal documents.

It's unfair. It truly is. These are not the principles our country was founded on. Just because a history of oppression exists, doesn't mean it is right. I've thought a lot about this. Gays and lesbians are not receiving equal representation under the law. If someone is being denied their rights, our elected officials should stand up and do something about it. Neither of us has committed a crime, but we're treated with hostility by the law. As a matter of fact, both of us work for society's greater good, doing non-profit work. That's not a requirement for rights, mind you, but it's just ironic.

This year, the Maryland General Assembly is going to consider gay marriage, but I'm not holding my breath. There's no way that bill will get further than committee. Our legislators already pushed the envelope with higher taxes (which I supported) and they aren't going to cast another difficult vote this year. Unfortunately, I'm feeling more urgent than ever that something needs to happen. My family's well-being is at risk. Now may not be the time for politicians, but the time is long overdue for me and all the other GLBT families out there.

No one gains by oppressing and denying others. I'm frustrated by this everyday. No one has a right to define my family for me or take away my ability to care for it and protect it.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here.

Just a quick note, I like feeling right. Since I said no presidential primary talk, I'll make this brief. I know I've said it recently, the Dems will have a really difficult time winning back the White House if McCain wins the primary. It feels good when someone who gets paid to have opinions agrees with me. Check out this Op-Ed piece from today's Washington Post.

Watch out for McCain!

And this is what I'm saying... McCain is really the only candidate out there we could lose the White House to. Toles demonstrates this perfectly. The same thing is happening in the Republican primary. While Romney and Giuliani have peaks and valleys in their campaigns, McCain stuck it out and is actually winning races. The first year of the campaign, Romney and Giuliani were fighting for the number 1 spot, while McCain's campaign seem to tank before it got started. Months later, voters are showing that they are uninterested in the "unknown" adventures of America's Mayor and his Mormon counterpart. McCain isn't a very exciting guy, but he's always been straightforward. His candidacy is something we should be afraid of.

I'm getting a little nervous, frankly. I figured, just like most people, that Rudy or Mitt would be the Republican candidate. McCain has very little money. I don't know how he's sustaining his candidacy. Actually, once he won in New Hampshire, I'm sure some funds started rolling in. It gives contributors confidence that their money won't go to waste. I'm still enjoying the Republican race, but with Fred dropping out, others will follow. At some point, the Republican party will find their candidate. And that moment is approaching.

Meanwhile, it's getting pretty ugly for the Dems. After Iowa, the most interesting candidates aren't even given the time of day anymore, thereby limiting our choices. Why aren't Kucinich and Gravel and whomever else was running allowed in the debates anymore? It's really unfair and counter to the democratic process. I hope their ideas will make it into the Dem's platform, which is why I'm going to vote for one of them on February 12, Maryland's primary.

If I had to vote for Hillary or Barack, I wouldn't know what I was going to do. I'm really torn. I think their platforms are really close enough in terms of being alike, that either is fine. Where I'm annoyed at Hillary's position on gay rights, I'm equally annoyed at Barack's position on healthcare and social security. I think Barack is truly inspirational and a smart enough guy to have a decent cabinet and staff to support him. I mean Bill Clinton was no genius, but he was a good president in part because of his staff. On the other hand, I think Hillary is very smart and she's been getting a really raw deal as a woman. I don't think Barack has suffered nearly as much criticism for his race (nor should he) as Hillary as suffered for her gender. I'd rather see no criticism for either on those issues, but nonetheless, Hillary has been stabbed by the double edged sword way too much. And the amazing thing is that she's still going strong. That says a lot about her desirability and electability. But I think she lacks the ability to inspire. One could say her campaign is in itself an inspiration, but I think she has to take it further. And that's where Barack is clearly stronger. Not only is his candidacy an inspiration, but he can inspire with words and vision.

The end of the primary season is approaching. Soon we'll know what we're dealing with. I'm still hoping for a Romney/Giuliani win. That will make for a much more entertaining campaign. Let's hope the Republicans don't wise up to McCain's electability.

Shhhh... lest you talk about race and gender

Wow, race and gender are being forcefully stuffed back in the closet by both Clinton and Obama. Seems we just can't be grown up about this.

I'm a little behind the times regarding the all the gaffes this week that led to yet another Clinton oopsie, but I decided to check it out today. Hillary did make a big oopsie, and then she just made it bigger ... and bigger. First let me say, that I don't think Bill's "fairytale" comments were bad at all. It's really the fact that he was so animated about it that made people pay attention. He clearly isn't talking about race in his comments about Obama's position on the Iraq war.

Now that I got that out of the way, what the hell is wrong with Hillary??? Is she pulling a Howard Dean on us? I really think she is. Her comments did truly diminish Dr. King's role in getting civil rights legislation passed in this country. Clearly, Hillary is trying to say that as president, she knows it's her role to get important legislation passed and it takes a lot of work - not just a hope and a prayer, which she implies will be Barack's strategy. But she's taking this campaign theme too far and every time she gets caught up in trying to explain herself, it just gets worse and worse. Okay already, being president is hard work, but what Barack is saying is being president is about being a leader. Being a leader is about having a vision for the country. Hillary has the nuts and bolts of it down; Barack has the vision. Morph them together and they'll make a great candidate.

But Hillary's foot-in-the-mouth episode has opened up the Democrat's Pandora's box. I know we're all really proud of ourselves for having two viable candidates who are also minorities, but that's as far as we're willing to take it, apparently. Now that we got the minority representation out of the way, let's not discuss what this means and how it will impact the way we will vote. It won't impact our decision, right? We're beyond that, right? Here's the real fairytale.

"We both have exuberance and sometimes uncontrollable supporters," Clinton said, adding that "neither race nor gender should be part of this campaign." I found this quote in today's Washington Post. This is the worst thing I've heard her say yet. And unfortunately, Barack whole-heartedly agrees.

Race and gender are ABSOLUTELY a part of this campaign. Hello??? A Black man has a real chance at winning the nomination. Oh, and a woman has a real chance of winning the nomination. This is historic. How could we not talk about it? For one thing, if the campaigns talked about it, they'd be giving their opponents' campaigns some credibility. At least Bill Clinton had the guts to admit that the African American community has a lot to be proud of with Barack's success as a candidate. It is significant, and each campaign would have to acknowledge it if we talked about it.

No, I don't think Hillary should be standing around saying "Vote for me and FINALLY get a woman in the Oval office." Nor should Barack be asking for votes because he's black. The discussion should be about what work is left on our race and gender issues and how this historic moment might bring the country closer to healing the wounds of oppression.

Our country is desperate to heal and this campaign provides the perfect opportunity to move forward. However, the Democratic leaders are afraid of having their record reviewed on this topic. Frankly, the Democrats have been pretty complacent in allowing the demise of the Black middle class, urban centers, education for the poor and disenfranchised, and I could go on and on. Republicans haven't done a better job. Frankly, I think they could care less. But that's not the point. If the Democrats are going to claim to be the party for minorities to have safe haven, then they have to relentlessly advocate on their behalf. And let me make clear that the list above may look like I'm targeting the causes of African Americans, but they are women's causes too. Who make up the majority of the poor? Women. Women of color are disproportionately represented, but it's women nonetheless.

So why shouldn't race and gender be a part of this campaign? All of our progressive initiatives are really about race and gender because of the disproportionate representation of minorities and women in the big gaping cracks of the American Dream.

These two need to grow up and demonstrate the leadership they say this country so desperately needs.

Who the hell is gonna win this thing???

I was going to write a blog about what happened in Iowa. Then I waited too long and decided to write a blog about New Hampshire. Now that's old news. But what is surprising is that there's no clear front runner in either the Democratic or Republican race. I love it.

I'm going to hypothesize, theorize and opine about the primaries. I'm going to make random predictions. I'm as qualified as anyone. Just consider how well the pollsters called it in New Hampshire.

The next primaries to watch are South Carolina, Michigan and Nevada. I love that we've come this far in the race, which really isn't that far, and we don't have a clear winner. Now we get to hear the bullshit the contenders will heap upon these states. This is actually a good thing. Usually, after New Hampshire, the primaries fade a bit from the news and we don't get to hear the rhetoric. The thing is, the rhetoric we hear in New Hampshire is dramatically different than the rhetoric in Michigan. Michigan is the solid blue collar state with a deep history in the auto-making industry which has suffered massively for decades. I want to know what the contestants believe is important to this crowd. The Republicans should be afraid to step foot in this state. It's their policies (which the Dems have been complacent with) that allowed the auto industry to take their jobs overseas.

I predict that Clinton will win this state. Why? Just call it a gut feeling. Actually, there was a poll released today in the Washington Post with Obama nearly erasing her lead, but I think her strong showing in New Hampshire is going to help her in Michigan. It won't be over by a long shot for Obama if he comes in second, but he'll really have to work his ass off to keep in it.

The more interesting race by far is the Republicans. The same Washington Post poll showed McCain taking the lead in public opinion. This concerns me. I think he has a good chance of being elected president if he wins the nomination. I think he's the only Republican with a chance of winning. And a race between him and Hillary would be ugly. Frankly, this is a worst case scenario. Obama needs to be the Dem's nominee if McCain wins the Republican nomination. Obama is squeaky clean really. The baggage that Hillary brings to race would sink her and the rest of the Democrats.

Of course, if anyone but McCain wins, I think Hillary or Obama have it in the bag. I can't wait to see the Republicans take a hit. Unfortunately, McCain's been vetted. He's a good guy, reasonable even. I don't agree with him 98% of the time and I'd hate to see him win, but he can't be attacked with much. On the other hand, it makes me giddy to think of the mud-slinging that would go on if, say, Rudy Guilliani wins the nomination. Evangelical Christians would be bombarded of pictures of Guilliani in drag. Not to mention, pictures of his many wives!!! This would be the best. Far better than any of Hillary's crap.

My prediction: McCain wins it. It's bound to happen that my anticipation of a good, juicy race would be ruined by the rise of McCain. And why should he win? He is the best Republican candidate. That's just a fact. The others are jokes.

Let me just note my fear of Mike Huckabee. A win by him would be truly scary. If the evangelicals mobilize around that guy, welcome to hell. Check out these books for a glimpse into the future: The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk. These are two of my favorite books, and both describe some sort of takeover of the country by the Christian right-wing conservatives. These are the same evangelicals that put Bush in office. We can't underestimate their mobilizing capabilities.

So we'll see what happens tomorrow. Maybe by the time the primary comes to Maryland, my vote will actually count. But count me out. I'm voting for Gravel. Neither Hillary or Barack need my vote, and the things that bother me about both of them cancel each other out. By voting for Gravel, I'm letting the Dems know I like what he has to say and maybe they ought to consider his ideas. I think he's still on the ballot. If not, the socialist from Ohio gets my vote.