Caffeine Diary

I Feel Like Crying

2008-11-05T09:09:00.004-05:00

For two reasons. Of course, the obvious one is the election of Barack Obama to President of the United States. I'm so thrilled and happy and moved at the outcome of this election. I truly believe that our nation will be able to heal from two terms of the divisive, fear-mongering politics of George Bush. Obama is a smart man who clearly wants what's best for the American people and is not beholden to rich corporations and big oil companies. We will see what's possible in solving our nation's problems. It's a good day for America.

Reason two is less optimistic. It appears that California's Proposition 8, banning gay marriage, is headed for a victory. There are still votes left to be counted, but it doesn't look good. It's obviously better if an outcome is not decided by absentee voters. Here I am truly disheartened by the turn of events. I had hoped that with the legalization of gay marriage in one of the largest states in the county, the rest of the country would soon follow suit. A general rule is that as California goes, so goes the rest of the country.

So what does today mean for gays and lesbians? It's hard to say. We're all excited that a Democrat took our country's highest office, but gay marriage isn't on his agenda. However, equal rights is on his agenda so maybe we'll see improvements on that front. But it is clear that marriage is getting further and further out of reach. Now that I have a child, the differences between marriage and any other "union" are crystal clear. I wanted a world for my son in which our family would look like any other. And it will in most respects, but most two-parent families involve the marriage of those two parents. I want to get health insurance for my partner. And I want there to be no question that she, too, is our son's mother. Now all I can say is that I hope one day in my lifetime I will see it happen.

It's possible. I know many African Americans who never dreamed a day would come when a black man was elected president. Now that day has arrived and as I said earlier, it is a good day for America. I'm elated at the direction our country has taken. It was a decisive victory and his mandate is clear. I know he is up for the challenge of leading our country during this difficult time. I am so confident of it that I finally feel like I can breath freely again.

It is a double-edged sword today. I want to celebrate with the rest of my friends the amazing victory of Barack Obama, but I also feel pain in my heart for my family and my friends since we will continue to feel bitter discrimination. I cannot reconcile these two places that I stand. Our country has taken a great step forward. But gays and lesbians have just been slapped.

Coffee Makers, 7-Eleven and Politics

2008-10-17T11:13:00.003-04:00

I have so many thoughts to share!

First, I'd like to share a recent experience regarding morning coffee. I have the option of getting coffee from Starbucks or 7-Eleven. Starbucks is a few feet further away, but no big deal. One recent morning I was pretty tired. Jacob had a pretty long night of frequent mini-wakings which required my attention. On the way into work I decided to get a cup of Starbucks coffee instead of 7-Eleven. I usually don't like Starbucks coffee, but 7-Eleven coffee is kind of weak and gives me the jitters if I drink straight-up caffeinated. But I need a strong cup of coffee.

So I went to Starbucks and decided on the Pike Place Roast which is described as smooth and nutty. That's my favorite combination. But I was terribly disappointed. It was bitter, as is all Starbucks coffee in my opinion. It's all about the roasting. Every coffee I've ever had from Starbucks tastes like it's been burned. So it's decided for me. 7-Eleven will be my coffee haven while I'm at work. Unless, I need a latte. Then it's a different story.

Now onto coffee makers. Recently I had to purchase a new one. My old one died. How does that happen? Planned obsolescence is my partner's theory. But poor design is my theory. I had a good coffee maker. It was the Cuisinart Brew Central. They are everywhere. I've had mine for maybe 4 or 5 years. Something called calcification happens with these (and maybe every) coffee maker. When it happens, you have to clean it using vinegar and water through a brew cycle or two. When the coffee maker needs it, it will light up the self-clean light. For years and years it never lit that light. I actually did put it through self clean every once in a long while. But last month it finally gave me the light. That was the beginning of the end. It refused to brew coffee from that point. I ran the self-clean cycle 5 or 10 times. Still no luck. In the middle of a brew cycle, the self clean would activate and stop brewing coffee. The self-clean amenity was actually the design flaw. I should be able to brew coffee no matter how much calcification exists. It's coffee for goodness sake. I need it.

So I was pretty desperate about the lack of coffee maker. I took this opportunity to purchase a grind and brew coffee maker from Cuisinart. I know some of you may be thinking, Why go with Cuisinart again? Well, I still like Cuisinart so I just looked into the features to make sure the same problem wouldn't happen. I purchased the Grind & Brew. I love, love coffee made with fresh coffee grinds. Who doesn't? I read a lot of mixed reviews on the coffee maker. Most of the reviews had to do with the amount of cleaning required to prepare the coffee maker again and again. I wasn't dissuaded by that argument. Here's what I was attracted to: Unlike some grind & brews, I could put in as many beans as I wanted to determine how strong I want my coffee. Other makers have a setting for this and then determine the amount of beans necessary. I don't trust the coffee maker to do this for me. This, for me, was the selling point ... and the fact that there was no self-clean cycle on this machine.

What I got was a good coffee maker. But the grinder is too small. I can't put enough beans in to make the coffee as strong as I like it. Another design flaw. So even though there's a 12-cup capacity, I can never brew more than 10 cups. And even then it might be weaker than I like because I have to overfill the grinder anyway. However, the grind-to-brew function is great and you can definitely taste the difference. The coffee maker does require a lot of cleaning. The problem is that the grinder gets "dirty" because of its proximity to the brewing. The heat from the brewing creates condensation on the grinder and the grinds then stick to it. So it's not perfect but I can live with it.

Politics. It's less than 3 weeks now to this historic election. I'm so excited. I feel pretty confident that the Democrats are finally going to win it. It's going to feel as good and even better than it did in 1992 when Bill Clinton won. I've been falling asleep through the debates to be honest. But the truth is that right now, I'm just enjoying the McCain/Palin free-fall. I know the Republicans will be licking their wounds throughout the country on November 5th. I know this isn't very analytic or insightful, but I just don't think we have a real contest anymore. McCain doesn't have any new ideas or energy to fix the immediate problems with our economy and the economy is the issue. I mean, if he hadn't been hit over the head with the free-falling stock market, he would still be saying that the economy is a psychological problem we're having. Our country is finally waking up to the fact that the Democrats have a better grasp on how to help the economy and everyday middle class Americans. And we're finally going to have our day on November 4. Go Vote!

Breathing Easy

2008-09-05T12:04:00.003-04:00

When I first heard that John McCain picked a woman as his running mate, I thought it was a good move on his part. The Republican Party needed a new look and bringing on a female VP was definitely a new look. I even thought for a minute that it's going to make Obama's job a little harder.

But now that Sarah Palin has been out in the open for a minute or two, I'm breathing easy again. Nice vetting job, folks. Not even the Republicans like her. I'm not going to rehash what everyone already knows about her (maybe later), but it's just the fact that clearly a lot of thought didn't go into this selection. What were they thinking? Maybe they thought that just by her wearing a skirt, all of Clinton's supporters would jump on board McCain's train.

Big mistake. Hillary Clinton's die-hard supporters are intelligent women who are really pissed off at the sexism Hillary had to face in this primary. They are holding a grudge. They aren't stupid. The Republicans just don't get it and Palin's selection is just insulting to feminists everywhere who wanted to see Hillary be the Democratic nominee.

I feel a pinch sorry for McCain. Now he has to spend the next 9 weeks on a sinking boat. He didn't want Palin. He gave in to pressure from the right wing to get some more conservative credentials. He will forever regret this play.

Now, enough of that. If you can't pick your own running mate, what can you do? How can you make other important decisions. You look like a fool, McCain! Obama looks strong for picking the man he wanted for the job. Obama didn't succumb to the pressure to pick Clinton. It makes him look like his own man. I'm once again feeling hopeful that the Democrats are going to win this one and the Republicans are going to be the ones with their tail between their legs this time.

History

2008-08-29T12:39:00.002-04:00

2008. This is history. We are in the midst of it. First, let me talk about the great moment. An African American man named Barack Hussein Obama is the Democrats' Presidential nominee. Who would have thought this could happen when 50 years ago our country was trying to grasp the idea that blacks and whites could live integrated lives? I'm so proud of our country today. I'm so excited that we have come this far! Of course, I could find many things still left to achieve as a country, but I'm going to take this moment to savor this milestone.

Having said all that, we can't let the significance of McCain's VP pick pass us by. It is amazing that the two parties have minority representation at the top of their tickets. This is a new day. We can't deny it. Never again will we see business as usual from either Democrats or Republicans. The lip service has stepped up to real representation.

I'm happy about this. I think I'm going to leave it at that and save the rest of the banter for another time (there's a lot of it).

Fuzzy Ethics

2008-08-10T10:00:00.002-04:00

There never seems enough hours in a day to capture all of my rants. But recent Sun articles about Senator Currie and Mayor Dixon require a response. These two cases don't have much in common, except one thing - both the Senator and the Mayor took the opportunity to bend and blur ethical lines. I find this really frustrating to say the least.

Let's look at the Mayor's case. She had a relationship with a man who does business with the city. A lot of people want to look at the relationship itself - fancy trips and fur coats. But that's no one's business and really beside the point. The point is that when an elected official is involved with someone who does business with the city, that elected official is to recuse themselves from voting or lobbying on behalf of the individual. Who knows how the Mayor, then the City Council President, would have voted on the business at hand if she had not been involved with him, Ronald Lipscomb. She insists her votes wouldn't have been different. Maybe so. Who cares? She broke the rules. Ethics rules are there to reduce even the appearance of impropriety. Why doesn't the Mayor get it?

With Senator Currie, we have a similar situation. It's a little worse here. Senator Currie was actually being paid by Shopper's to consult and he didn't recuse himself of voting or using his position to give them an advantage with state agencies. He didn't disclose his relationship with Shoppers on his ethics forms. Malicious? No, I don't think so. Wrong? Yes. I'm going to guess that Senator Currie believed there were benefits to his actions beyond helping Shoppers get tax breaks and financial incentives. Getting a Shoppers at Mondawmin Mall was a great thing because that community was grossly underserved. But the Senator ignored the ethics laws.

Here's the problem. For various reasons, both the Mayor and Senator Currie felt they could ignore the ethics laws. They were clearly aware of them, otherwise why the secrecy? They may have been sincere in their goals, but we'll never know. The Mayor's relationship with Mr. Lipscomb can't be separated out from her actions. Same applies to Senator Currie. Again, that is why we have ethics laws. These are the situations people with power can get themselves into and the laws are very clear. Recuse yourself. Simple enough, but clearly too much to ask the Mayor or the Senator.

We deserve better. We really do. Not only are these folks ruining their careers, but they are creating a lack of confidence in our democratic system. That's unfortunate. I know I don't feel we can trust any politician. It's just those politicians who believe they are doing the right thing that ignore the ethics laws. They didn't believe their behavior was unethical. They forgot about the appearance of impropriety. It's really just as bad.

Quick coffee note - I'm loving, loving, loving Zeke's Italian Roast blend. It's so dark and rich and lovely. You must try some!

"McNasty"

2008-08-01T12:26:00.003-04:00

The DNC, the Democratic National Committee, really has to thank Gray's Anatomy for this little marketing morsel. I have to say, when I heard John McCain's new nickname, I laughed out loud. It's funny. And brilliant because it's bound to stick for the rest of this campaign. Another funny I came across yesterday was the title of this article in the New York Times, "McCain Tries to Define Obama as Out of Touch." Let's get a mental picture of that....

McCain is desperate and it's too early for all that. Look how quickly his campaign went negative. All his advertisements have been about Obama, not himself. "McNasty" is ringing true and it's ugly. I'm feeling really good about the election right now. McCain can't talk about the issues that are important to Americans. He's not Bush. He can't invoke 9/11 and get the same reaction. Americans are struggling with the high cost of everything in a tanking market where our money just isn't worth as much as it used to be. McCain doesn't know anything about the economy. That's why the New York Times article is so funny. It's beyond ironic that McCain, who is so obviously out of touch with what's on our minds today, wants to paint Obama as the one missing the boat. As I said, he's desperate.

The next phase of this campaign is running mates. McCain needs to pick someone who can jump start his rocky campaign. Obama needs to pick someone who isn't going to mess up a good thing. It's tricky in both camps. Word is that Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is seriously considering the VP spot. I have to admit, I don't know anything about this man except that he's a Democratic governor in a state that usually elects Republicans. I think it's smart for Obama to look south for a running mate. I also think it's smart for him to pick a man instead of a woman. It's already going to be a historic moment when America elects a black man president. I think picking a female running mate would push the envelope. It sucks, but look at the way Hillary Clinton was treated. Sure, you can say it's because she's "Hillary." But the only reason Hillary was ever given such a hard time is because she's a strong, smart and opinionated woman.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again right now. The Democrats cannot afford to lose this election. Period. Another Republican administration will permanently put us in the toilet. So, pick a running mate that's going to get votes. Any Democrat who doesn't vote for Obama because he didn't pick a woman, specifically Hillary, doesn't care about this country or their party. Yes, I feel very strongly about it.

Bursting Thru the Racial Frontier on the Back of Sexism

2008-06-05T17:05:00.005-04:00

Finally the Democratic primaries are over and we have a winner - Barack Obama. I feel so bruised from just being a spectator of this contest, I can't imagine how Hillary and Barack feel. This historic event brought out the best and the worst of our party, and our country. I'm thrilled we've nominated a person of color to be our Democratic Presidential Candidate. I believe it will move our country forward as millions of us consider voting for Obama. Many middle Americans will realize that race is not as important as they once thought it was. Many Americans are going to make their decisions based on whether or not they believe the next president will improve our economy. As they weigh their choices, they will listen to each candidate's proposals and make a choice. I believe that many Americans will realize for the first time that it doesn't matter if the candidate is a black man or a white man. This election will force many to reconsider old notions of race and discard them.

While I'm very hopeful that our country will advance on the racial frontier, I am truly saddened that we haven't come very far when it comes to gender. It's clear to me that it is simply more acceptable to our society to continue to devalue and demonize women. If women are automatically "bitches," why do men rely and expect us to raise their children? The Democratic primary demonstrated that in the men v. women dialogue, men still win most of the time and open hostility to women is okay.

Everyone, including "feminists," said it would be inappropriate for Hillary to be offended by the gross amounts of sexism she encountered on the campaign trail. She would be whining. But any hint of a racial slur toward Obama set everyone on fire! Why must women be expected to bear the brunt of hostility towards their gender? Hillary's fight was harder than Obama's. That's a fact. Sexism is the reason Hillary has been demonized since she was the first lady. She dared have an opinion. There was really no way Hillary could approach this race without being criticized. Women can't win when we allow sexism to flourish.

Nonetheless, Barack Obama is a great candidate and a far better choice for president than John McCain. Any Democrat who chooses to stay home in November and not vote is not a Democrat.

A New View

2008-05-09T14:01:00.004-04:00

This morning I watched a documentary called Escape from Suburbia. It's a very enlightening film on energy and how we will need to approach the future. The saying "the future is now" takes on new meaning for me. This film came out a little while ago and in just a short period of time, some of its predictions are now true. They weren't so much predictions as they were hypotheses. It hypothesised that the price of gas was going to be $3.50 a gallon and never get cheaper. The price of oil would rise and rise and never fall again. It's all happening.

Maybe because I have a child, or maybe because Earth Day was a couple of weeks ago, I have been thinking about what I can do to reduce my energy consumption and help heal the environment. It's not that I haven't thought or done anything about it before, but the urgency is greater now more than ever. The issue has hit home, literally. Who can afford gas at these prices? It's insane. It almost doesn't make sense to own a car. Unfortunately, Baltimore is not the mass transit capital of the world. Far from it. Currently, the Light Rail has less than half its normal amount of trains running. Bad timing? To say the least.

I know there's many things I can do and whatever steps I take will make a difference. But it's about time our government stepped up and helped create a sustainable society. Stop building roads and start building better mass transit. Maryland is in need of better solutions, especially since BRAC is bringing so many people to the state within the next five years.

One of the solutions I want to mention is buying locally produced goods. Get your vegetables at the farmer's market. It's a lot of fun, the vegetables are less expensive and it's environmentally friendly. Check out the Waverly Farmer's market on Barclay and 32nd Streets on Saturday and the Baltimore Farmer's Market downtown under 83 on Sundays.

Jacob Update: Jacob is doing great! He's approximately 12 pounds and growing! He smiles all the time. He's a bit of a night owl ... most of his wakefulness occurs in the late afternoon through 10 or 11 p.m.! He does great with tummy time and holds his head up a lot. He's working on turning himself over, but hasn't made it yet.

TTFN, as Tigger would say.

Smiles and Giggles

2008-05-07T13:42:00.003-04:00

Requests for videos haven't gone unnoticed. It does require some time with technology and time with 2 hands is rare. However, today we captured a moment with Jacob in the papasan, enjoying a few smiles. I think he sees himself in the mirror and has a little smiling game.

In this video, I sound a little silly trying to get smiles from Jacob, but he's still a cutie.

Life at home with Jacob is awesome! He's growing so quickly. His arms and legs are getting nice and plump. He makes all kinds of new noises everyday. He loves his noise-making stuffed animals and rattles. He's full of grins and sweetness.

There isn't much time that Jacob spends out of my arms. He sleeps in my arms or on my chest most of the day. When he's awake we play games with his rattles and smile at each other.

He's started drooling which is a precursor to teething. It's cute for now.

I'm acutely aware that this time with him is short and I intend to enjoy every moment.

The weather is beautiful. Time to go for walks and drink iced lattes. Enjoy.

LIfe at Home

2008-04-24T16:30:00.002-04:00

Life at home has been great! I love motherhood. The first few weeks were really hard for me. Luckily, Caroline took time off from work while I recuperated from surgery. The first two weeks were particularly grueling. As some of you may know, newborns eat frequently. Every two hours we had to feed Jacob. And that time is measured from start to start so there wasn't much time to rest in between. Luckily, he slept most of the time so he wasn't very demanding.

Jacob has grown so much. He's almost 11 pounds now. He no longer sleeps most of the time, which is so fun. He doesn't play much, but it is so great just to spend time with him while he's awake. He smiles and coos and wiggles around. It's just so amazing to watch him change and grow. With his new wakefulness, I have less time to do stuff, so I'll just have to leave you with a picture.

Here He Is! Part II

2008-03-30T18:40:00.005-04:00

The Hospital Stay, Continued

Since we had no idea when the baby would have to be delivered, Caroline stayed in the hospital with me every day. The baby was breech, so we knew there was a strong possibility he would be delivered by C-section.

After a week in the hospital, we had one false alarm. One of the many medical staff attending me freaked out about the swelling of my legs (which was pretty severe actually) and determined I might be getting worse. I was rushed back into Labor & Delivery. Everyone was saying this might be the day my baby is born. I was pretty freaked out. I wasn't mentally ready. I was still hoping we could cook him a bit longer. I was only 36 weeks and a couple of days. He was small already, so I wanted to grow him as much as possible. Eventually, the OB decided not to deliver and I was sent back to my room.

That false alarm told me I needed to get ready for my baby. He was definitely coming sooner than later. Good thing I decided to get real about it because sooner became the next day. There was a dip in my platelet count and finally the OB said she couldn't see a reason to wait any longer. The C-section was scheduled for that evening.

I was pretty nervous about the surgery. I was planning to deliver vaginally. I never thought about a C-section and what would be involved. I was nervous about the spinal. I don't know about you, but the thought of someone putting a large needle in my spine is pretty nerve wracking. I was scared of being one of the few who become paralyzed by accident. But mostly I was worried that I wouldn't have the emotional attachment to my baby the way I imagined I would after going through labor.

I needn't worry, though. It all went smoothly. Actually, Caroline and I watched the surgery with the help of a mirror. It was incredibly freaky seeing my body manipulated like that. But the most amazing moment happened when the OB pulled Jacob out of me. I can barely describe the amazement and joy I felt seeing him for the first time. I cried. The love was there instantly.

Because he was a preemie, the neonatal unit had to check him out right away to make sure all his parts were working. Caroline watched as they cleaned him, weighed him and did all the other stuff. Then Jacob was brought over to me as the OB was putting me back together. It was wonderful. His eyes were open and he was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Then he was whisked off to the nursery for a thorough exam.

I was brought to recovery and placed on a magnesium sulfate drip for 24 hours. That stuff is used to prevent any of the preeclamsia symptoms from getting worse after delivery. They also gave me an IV pain killer. Little did I know how much pain I'd be in. The spinal started wearing off right away and I began to feel the incision. Thank goodness for pain medication. I had to stay in the Labor and Delivery unit until the magnesium was stopped. Another uncomfortable bed.

Caroline's sister, Katherine, flew in from San Diego that night. She planned to help Caroline get the house ready for the baby. But since I had the C-section, Caroline had to stay at the hospital with me around the clock. There isn't much one can do after their abdomen has been cut in half. So Katherine readied the house by herself. She ran around buying all kinds of things we would need that we hadn't yet bought ourselves. She cleaned, bought groceries, cleaned the litter boxes, took care of the cats, bought clothes for the baby, and on and on and on. I can't even list everything she did because I was pretty out of it most of the weekend.

Having a newborn and major surgery at the same time is a bit overwhelming. There isn't much sleep to be had when you have a newborn. You have to nurse him every 3 hours, start to start. And the first night was just so overwhelming, I forgot to sleep. Caroline was equally exhausted because I couldn't get out of bed. She was changing every diaper, taking calls, helping me with everything. She forgot to sleep the first night too. By the time 24 hours had passed, I was so tired I started to feel like I was going to black out.

And then the real pain began. After coming off the magnesium (which, by the way, every single nurse told me was a "nasty" drug), I was brought to the post-partum unit. I hadn't moved a muscle since before the surgery and now the nurse wanted me to get out of my bed and into the wheelchair so I could be moved. The first time I tried moving, I thought I would die. Now let me say, if you're ever going to have a baby, avoid the C-section at all costs. Really, take my word for it.

The next 96 hours I spent in the hospital was basically consumed by trying to breastfeed and waiting to fart. Really. I couldn't have solid foods until I farted. You'd be surprised how hard it is to fart after a surgery like that.

More difficult was the breastfeeding. Since Jacob was a preemie, there were all sorts of issues with his learning to suck. I won't get into it now, but let me tell you that Jacob was a champ. We got him on the breast and he amazed everyone in the nursery and the lactation station with how well he was learning. It was very challenging for me, but I was determined to give him breast milk no matter what I had to do.

Four days later, I went home. Here is one of the first photos of our son. He was 4 lbs and 8 oz when he was born.

Here he is!

2008-03-30T16:41:00.002-04:00

Jacob Irving was born on February 21, 2008. It's been quite a rollercoster, but Caroline and I are feeling elated and loving life with our new son. Here's the how it all happened.

The Disappointing Ultrasound

On February 11, we had the 3rd trimester ultrasound. We were looking forward to seeing how big Jacob had grown and getting a more specific due date. What we learned was that Jacob was growing a bit too slow for my OB's taste. She put me on bed rest in the hopes that it would help Jacob get the much needed nutrients to grow. She also ordered twice-weekly nonstress tests for the baby.

High Blood Pressure and Spilling Protein, aka Preeclampsia

The following Thursday (February 14), we went to the hospital for a nonstress test. This is a test to show that the baby is moving around normally and his heart rate is strong while in the womb. While I was there, the technicians took my blood pressure and a urine sample. My blood pressure was pretty high and they found protein in my urine which isn't a good thing. Right away, I was sent to Labor & Delivery for monitoring. My OB said I had Preeclampsia. She ordered a 24-hour observation that involved constant blood pressure monitoring and a collection of my urine. Nice way to spend Valentine's Day. I was stuck in an uncomfortable birthing bed and poor Caroline was sleeping on a chair.

I had hoped to be going home from the hospital the next day. I felt fine and I wanted to complete my bed rest at home in a nice comfy bed. My OB had other ideas. Even though she ordered the 24-hour observation, she basically determined I had preeclamsia and I was going to be at the hospital until Jacob was born. He wasn't due for another 5 weeks.

The Hospital Stay

I was moved to the high risk pregnancy area and told to settle in. I was on bed rest with bathroom "privileges," meaning I was allowed to walk myself to the bathroom to pee. Apparently, I was lucky because there are lots of women who are put on bed rest without such privileges.

Let me say first that the staff at the hospital were mostly very nice and compassionate with both myself and Caroline. The high risk unit gets lots of long-term visitors. My days consisted of laying, getting my blood pressure taken every 4 hours, getting my sugar tested twice a day, getting blood taken daily and having my pee collected and tested for urine. The only treatment for preeclamsia is delivery of the baby. I wasn't full-term yet, so we were trying to avoid this. Therefore, my symptoms had to be monitored to make sure my health wasn't in danger. The 3 major symptoms being watched were my blood pressure, the amount of protein in my urine, and my platelet count. Don't ask me what the platelets have to do with anything.

Every day could be the day my son would be delivered.

Time to Nurse

I have to nurse my son now, so stay tuned to part two of the adventure...

On a More Personal Note

2008-02-08T12:46:00.000-05:00

I've been getting bogged down in politics. It's hard to avoid because I love it, but I don't want it to become all consuming. For those who love my political banter, don't worry. I can't resist being an armchair pundit.

However, today I'd like to just catch up on my personal life for those of you folks who actually read this. The countdown to delivery is getting dramatically smaller and smaller. I used to count this in months. Now it's weeks. Five weeks to be exact. It's fair to say I'm freaking out a bit.

It's a whirlwind of emotions really. I'm so excited to meet my son and be able to hold him in my arms and look into his eyes. I can't wait to see him in Caroline's arms. Our love grows more and more everyday and he's not even here yet!

I visit the message boards on Babycenter.com. There's actually a bunch of message boards for GLBT parents. My signature has a little tickler. It looks something like this:

Isn't it cute? I like to post on the boards just so I can see how the numbers change from day to day. Less than 40 days to go! I can't believe it.

The other part of the whirlwind is fear. I'm so scared something will go wrong like I won't be able to get him out or something like that. I know that's a little silly. I mean, women give birth everyday. It's a job that doesn't require any prior experience. My body will take over. I just have to learn to let that happen and trust that nature knows what it's doing. It's kind of funny that I just think too much. This is just one of those times where IQ plays no part.

So that's where we are today. Baby is weeks away from arrival. Caroline worked on the nursery this past weekend. She dismantled the guest room and put the crib together. Lined up all the Pooh animals. Hung the curtains.

I feel like a house. I'm so huge I can't even remember what it was like when I could bend down and reach my feet. My body doesn't resemble anything I once knew. It's comical at times.

To top it off, I got all my hair cut off. I've been growing my hair to donate to Locks of Love. It's a great organization that helps disadvantaged children suffering from medical hair loss (often due to cancer or some other condition). They make wigs from donated hair. I was moved to contribute my hair after participating in the Race for a Cure in 2006. I wanted to do something more personal in the fight against cancer. And those who know me, know that I'm vain about only one or two things, my hair being number 1. So I thought it would be really significant to grow it out to give to someone else. And now my hair is insanely short! Here's the end result:

The donated hair is actually 11 or 12 inches long, but my hair is a bit curly, so it's hard to tell. I'm sending that pony tail off to Locks of Love today.

Finally, I'll leave you with my most recent belly shot. This is me at 34 weeks pregnant (8.5 months):

What did I tell you? A house.

This Way or That???

2008-02-07T12:30:00.000-05:00

I know I'm confusing things with this post, but I have to share this Paul Krugman editorial from Monday. It's nothing new, per se, but it again revists the difference in Hillary Clinton's and Barack Obama's "universal" healthcare proposals.

This is the biggest policy issue I have with Obama. He has demonized mandates which are just plain necessary if our true goal is universal healthcare.

You might be saying, Hey, make up your mind already! I have. Like I said before, I'm voting for Obama. Again, it's about who will win the general election and I think his chances are better. But we have to stay informed on this issue because when it comes before congress, we, you and I, have to act.

Also, Obama's position on GLBT rights is SO much better than Hillary's. I've talked about that before too.

Just a note, check out the links over to the right. I've added a new one called Maryland Politics Watch. I thought this was interesting, but warning, it's PG and Montgomery County focused as far as I can see. The title of the blog is misleading and all the contributors live in the DC suburbs.

Now What? Or Who?

2008-02-01T14:16:00.000-05:00

I've been saying for weeks that my vote won't count when the Maryland primary rolls around. Guess I was wrong. But what I'm not wrong about is the threat that is John McCain. And this is what my vote will be about on February 12.

For months I anticipated that Giuliani or Romney was going to be the Republican nominee. In either scenario, the general election was going to be a breeze, enjoyable even. Now, Giuliani is done and after Tuesday, I expect Romney will be too. A general election against McCain will be tough and hardly enjoyable.

Here's the situation. McCain is on his way to winning the nomination. During the Republican debate in California the other night, Romney was constantly on the defensive. It appeared really easy for McCain to be the reasonable truthful one while Romney spent all his air time on rebuttal after rebuttal. Given that the Republican field never had a "favorite," it won't be that difficult for McCain to keep the tide flowing his way.

Even though the Democrats have narrowed their field to two, the outcome is not as certain. It's anyone's guess who's going to take this contest. That's why the ambitious John Edwards isn't picking sides. He's hedging his bets and hoping he'll find a place in one of their administrations.

It's been a rare occasion for us Marylanders to have any say in Democratic nominee. I thought the contest would be decided by now, so I was ready to vote for one of my lefty favorites. Now I have to take this vote seriously (not that voting isn't serious, but you know what I mean).

So how really should one decide between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? This is the question of the day. Either nominee is historic. And despite what people will say about Hillary Clinton, she is not business as usual. A woman in the White House is change. Barack Obama doesn't have a monopoly on representing change. As a matter of fact, despite his race, a man in the White House would be more like business as usual than Hillary Clinton. Will his race really affect his decision-making? I doubt it. The historic nature of having an African American in the White House means that despite the persistant nature of racism, our country is really moving towards healing the racial divide. Barack could really have a huge impact as president on our racial problems.

Hillary has tried to make the contest about young versus experienced. She knows how to get things done. She has the command of the issues that Barack doesn't have because he hasn't been around long enough. He's a great public speaker, very inspirational, but according to Clinton, it ends there and that's not enough for the next president. Obama says he does understand the issues and he's always on the right side of them. He believes we need inspiration and a commitment to heal our country. He's right. And so is she.

Neither will talk about electability, but that's what we need to talk about today. A year ago, the Democrats were on top. They were starting a new term with Dems in control. The tide of the country was change. We were tired of the disaster the Republicans have made of the war and home. A year ago, electability was not one of our problems. Today, with McCain as the nominee, it is the problem.

And the answer is to vote for Barack Obama. This isn't an endorsement or anything. As I have stated before and implied above, either Hillary or Barack would make a good president. But they have to win a general election first. And that's why Barack is who I'm voting for. I can't take another Republican president. It sickens me. We HAVE to win.

Just close your eyes for a minute and clear your head. Then, imagine a picture of McCain versus Clinton. What's your gut telling you? Now, imagine a picture of McCain versus Obama. What's your gut telling you now? If you're paying attention, you know that Hillary doesn't have a chance against McCain. While the Democrats could swallow a McCain win, Republicans will succede from the nation if Hillary wins. As one pundit has said, Hillary has toxic coat-tails.

Barack does inspire and that is what's going to help him win. Hillary inspires, but she inspires the wrong people. She inspires the Republicans to get off their butts and vote against her. As unfair as it is that Hillary has been judged so harshly, it's the reality. I'm not going to roll the dice on this election just because I think Hillary has been held to a higher standard and been set up to fail.

That's the direction this primary season has taken us. The Democrats are going to make history by electing a minority as their nominee. Hopefully, the country will follow suit in November.

Now is the Time

2008-01-25T15:30:00.000-05:00

I'm not going to talk presidential primaries. What I would like to talk about is the new level of oppression I'm experiencing as a lesbian. Not a great way to start off a topic, I'll admit. The problem is that now that the baby is nearly due, my partner and I are getting our "affairs" in order, as they say. Wills, powers-of-attorney, adoption. Because we're not married, we can't assume our family is secure. We have to weave our safety net together from scratch. We own a house together, but because we're not married, I have to specifically leave my interest in the house to my partner in a will. It doesn't even matter that both our names are on the deed! How crazy is that?

She's not my next of kin, so I have to label her the beneficiary to my life insurance. She's not my wife, so I have to create a living will which names her as my health care agent. She's not our child's mother until some court says so, so if something goes wrong when I give birth, our lawyer's number is on the speed dial. We have to prove to the court that we conceived of this child together, even though we truly conceived the child together! She gave me the sperm. She was there too. And when she files her taxes, she has to say she's single, even though she and I are about to have our first child together. We can't put each other on our health insurance plans even though it would save us money. We can't protect one another without a litany of legal documents.

It's unfair. It truly is. These are not the principles our country was founded on. Just because a history of oppression exists, doesn't mean it is right. I've thought a lot about this. Gays and lesbians are not receiving equal representation under the law. If someone is being denied their rights, our elected officials should stand up and do something about it. Neither of us has committed a crime, but we're treated with hostility by the law. As a matter of fact, both of us work for society's greater good, doing non-profit work. That's not a requirement for rights, mind you, but it's just ironic.

This year, the Maryland General Assembly is going to consider gay marriage, but I'm not holding my breath. There's no way that bill will get further than committee. Our legislators already pushed the envelope with higher taxes (which I supported) and they aren't going to cast another difficult vote this year. Unfortunately, I'm feeling more urgent than ever that something needs to happen. My family's well-being is at risk. Now may not be the time for politicians, but the time is long overdue for me and all the other GLBT families out there.

No one gains by oppressing and denying others. I'm frustrated by this everyday. No one has a right to define my family for me or take away my ability to care for it and protect it.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here.

Just a quick note, I like feeling right. Since I said no presidential primary talk, I'll make this brief. I know I've said it recently, the Dems will have a really difficult time winning back the White House if McCain wins the primary. It feels good when someone who gets paid to have opinions agrees with me. Check out this Op-Ed piece from today's Washington Post.

Watch out for McCain!

2008-01-23T19:29:00.000-05:00

And this is what I'm saying... McCain is really the only candidate out there we could lose the White House to. Toles demonstrates this perfectly. The same thing is happening in the Republican primary. While Romney and Giuliani have peaks and valleys in their campaigns, McCain stuck it out and is actually winning races. The first year of the campaign, Romney and Giuliani were fighting for the number 1 spot, while McCain's campaign seem to tank before it got started. Months later, voters are showing that they are uninterested in the "unknown" adventures of America's Mayor and his Mormon counterpart. McCain isn't a very exciting guy, but he's always been straightforward. His candidacy is something we should be afraid of.

I'm getting a little nervous, frankly. I figured, just like most people, that Rudy or Mitt would be the Republican candidate. McCain has very little money. I don't know how he's sustaining his candidacy. Actually, once he won in New Hampshire, I'm sure some funds started rolling in. It gives contributors confidence that their money won't go to waste. I'm still enjoying the Republican race, but with Fred dropping out, others will follow. At some point, the Republican party will find their candidate. And that moment is approaching.

Meanwhile, it's getting pretty ugly for the Dems. After Iowa, the most interesting candidates aren't even given the time of day anymore, thereby limiting our choices. Why aren't Kucinich and Gravel and whomever else was running allowed in the debates anymore? It's really unfair and counter to the democratic process. I hope their ideas will make it into the Dem's platform, which is why I'm going to vote for one of them on February 12, Maryland's primary.

If I had to vote for Hillary or Barack, I wouldn't know what I was going to do. I'm really torn. I think their platforms are really close enough in terms of being alike, that either is fine. Where I'm annoyed at Hillary's position on gay rights, I'm equally annoyed at Barack's position on healthcare and social security. I think Barack is truly inspirational and a smart enough guy to have a decent cabinet and staff to support him. I mean Bill Clinton was no genius, but he was a good president in part because of his staff. On the other hand, I think Hillary is very smart and she's been getting a really raw deal as a woman. I don't think Barack has suffered nearly as much criticism for his race (nor should he) as Hillary as suffered for her gender. I'd rather see no criticism for either on those issues, but nonetheless, Hillary has been stabbed by the double edged sword way too much. And the amazing thing is that she's still going strong. That says a lot about her desirability and electability. But I think she lacks the ability to inspire. One could say her campaign is in itself an inspiration, but I think she has to take it further. And that's where Barack is clearly stronger. Not only is his candidacy an inspiration, but he can inspire with words and vision.

The end of the primary season is approaching. Soon we'll know what we're dealing with. I'm still hoping for a Romney/Giuliani win. That will make for a much more entertaining campaign. Let's hope the Republicans don't wise up to McCain's electability.

Shhhh... lest you talk about race and gender

2008-01-16T19:29:00.000-05:00

Wow, race and gender are being forcefully stuffed back in the closet by both Clinton and Obama. Seems we just can't be grown up about this.

I'm a little behind the times regarding the all the gaffes this week that led to yet another Clinton oopsie, but I decided to check it out today. Hillary did make a big oopsie, and then she just made it bigger ... and bigger. First let me say, that I don't think Bill's "fairytale" comments were bad at all. It's really the fact that he was so animated about it that made people pay attention. He clearly isn't talking about race in his comments about Obama's position on the Iraq war.

Now that I got that out of the way, what the hell is wrong with Hillary??? Is she pulling a Howard Dean on us? I really think she is. Her comments did truly diminish Dr. King's role in getting civil rights legislation passed in this country. Clearly, Hillary is trying to say that as president, she knows it's her role to get important legislation passed and it takes a lot of work - not just a hope and a prayer, which she implies will be Barack's strategy. But she's taking this campaign theme too far and every time she gets caught up in trying to explain herself, it just gets worse and worse. Okay already, being president is hard work, but what Barack is saying is being president is about being a leader. Being a leader is about having a vision for the country. Hillary has the nuts and bolts of it down; Barack has the vision. Morph them together and they'll make a great candidate.

But Hillary's foot-in-the-mouth episode has opened up the Democrat's Pandora's box. I know we're all really proud of ourselves for having two viable candidates who are also minorities, but that's as far as we're willing to take it, apparently. Now that we got the minority representation out of the way, let's not discuss what this means and how it will impact the way we will vote. It won't impact our decision, right? We're beyond that, right? Here's the real fairytale.

"We both have exuberance and sometimes uncontrollable supporters," Clinton said, adding that "neither race nor gender should be part of this campaign." I found this quote in today's Washington Post. This is the worst thing I've heard her say yet. And unfortunately, Barack whole-heartedly agrees.

Race and gender are ABSOLUTELY a part of this campaign. Hello??? A Black man has a real chance at winning the nomination. Oh, and a woman has a real chance of winning the nomination. This is historic. How could we not talk about it? For one thing, if the campaigns talked about it, they'd be giving their opponents' campaigns some credibility. At least Bill Clinton had the guts to admit that the African American community has a lot to be proud of with Barack's success as a candidate. It is significant, and each campaign would have to acknowledge it if we talked about it.

No, I don't think Hillary should be standing around saying "Vote for me and FINALLY get a woman in the Oval office." Nor should Barack be asking for votes because he's black. The discussion should be about what work is left on our race and gender issues and how this historic moment might bring the country closer to healing the wounds of oppression.

Our country is desperate to heal and this campaign provides the perfect opportunity to move forward. However, the Democratic leaders are afraid of having their record reviewed on this topic. Frankly, the Democrats have been pretty complacent in allowing the demise of the Black middle class, urban centers, education for the poor and disenfranchised, and I could go on and on. Republicans haven't done a better job. Frankly, I think they could care less. But that's not the point. If the Democrats are going to claim to be the party for minorities to have safe haven, then they have to relentlessly advocate on their behalf. And let me make clear that the list above may look like I'm targeting the causes of African Americans, but they are women's causes too. Who make up the majority of the poor? Women. Women of color are disproportionately represented, but it's women nonetheless.

So why shouldn't race and gender be a part of this campaign? All of our progressive initiatives are really about race and gender because of the disproportionate representation of minorities and women in the big gaping cracks of the American Dream.

These two need to grow up and demonstrate the leadership they say this country so desperately needs.

Who the hell is gonna win this thing???

2008-01-14T16:51:00.001-05:00

I was going to write a blog about what happened in Iowa. Then I waited too long and decided to write a blog about New Hampshire. Now that's old news. But what is surprising is that there's no clear front runner in either the Democratic or Republican race. I love it.

I'm going to hypothesize, theorize and opine about the primaries. I'm going to make random predictions. I'm as qualified as anyone. Just consider how well the pollsters called it in New Hampshire.

The next primaries to watch are South Carolina, Michigan and Nevada. I love that we've come this far in the race, which really isn't that far, and we don't have a clear winner. Now we get to hear the bullshit the contenders will heap upon these states. This is actually a good thing. Usually, after New Hampshire, the primaries fade a bit from the news and we don't get to hear the rhetoric. The thing is, the rhetoric we hear in New Hampshire is dramatically different than the rhetoric in Michigan. Michigan is the solid blue collar state with a deep history in the auto-making industry which has suffered massively for decades. I want to know what the contestants believe is important to this crowd. The Republicans should be afraid to step foot in this state. It's their policies (which the Dems have been complacent with) that allowed the auto industry to take their jobs overseas.

I predict that Clinton will win this state. Why? Just call it a gut feeling. Actually, there was a poll released today in the Washington Post with Obama nearly erasing her lead, but I think her strong showing in New Hampshire is going to help her in Michigan. It won't be over by a long shot for Obama if he comes in second, but he'll really have to work his ass off to keep in it.

The more interesting race by far is the Republicans. The same Washington Post poll showed McCain taking the lead in public opinion. This concerns me. I think he has a good chance of being elected president if he wins the nomination. I think he's the only Republican with a chance of winning. And a race between him and Hillary would be ugly. Frankly, this is a worst case scenario. Obama needs to be the Dem's nominee if McCain wins the Republican nomination. Obama is squeaky clean really. The baggage that Hillary brings to race would sink her and the rest of the Democrats.

Of course, if anyone but McCain wins, I think Hillary or Obama have it in the bag. I can't wait to see the Republicans take a hit. Unfortunately, McCain's been vetted. He's a good guy, reasonable even. I don't agree with him 98% of the time and I'd hate to see him win, but he can't be attacked with much. On the other hand, it makes me giddy to think of the mud-slinging that would go on if, say, Rudy Guilliani wins the nomination. Evangelical Christians would be bombarded of pictures of Guilliani in drag. Not to mention, pictures of his many wives!!! This would be the best. Far better than any of Hillary's crap.

My prediction: McCain wins it. It's bound to happen that my anticipation of a good, juicy race would be ruined by the rise of McCain. And why should he win? He is the best Republican candidate. That's just a fact. The others are jokes.

Let me just note my fear of Mike Huckabee. A win by him would be truly scary. If the evangelicals mobilize around that guy, welcome to hell. Check out these books for a glimpse into the future: The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood and The Fifth Sacred Thing by Starhawk. These are two of my favorite books, and both describe some sort of takeover of the country by the Christian right-wing conservatives. These are the same evangelicals that put Bush in office. We can't underestimate their mobilizing capabilities.

So we'll see what happens tomorrow. Maybe by the time the primary comes to Maryland, my vote will actually count. But count me out. I'm voting for Gravel. Neither Hillary or Barack need my vote, and the things that bother me about both of them cancel each other out. By voting for Gravel, I'm letting the Dems know I like what he has to say and maybe they ought to consider his ideas. I think he's still on the ballot. If not, the socialist from Ohio gets my vote.

THIS is What a FEMINIST Looks Like!

2007-12-28T09:43:00.000-05:00

This is me from the neck down. I'm 7 months pregnant. Caroline liked the juxtaposition of the "This is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt over my large pregnant belly. I have to agree. This is what a feminist looks like. My face looked pained so I had to cut it off. I've had this t-shirt since college.

I'm not going to talk about being pregnant much here. This week, I've been consumed by two news stories - the Siberian tiger, Tatiana, who killed one person and mauled two others in San Francisco, and the assassination of Benazir Bhutto.

I'm not going to pretend to know a lot about Bhutto. I just know that her death is a huge set back for Pakistan and the Middle East. More importantly, I'm frightened by the fact that Musharref is one of the U.S.'s greatest "allies" against terrorism in the region, yet his own relationship with democracy is pretty poor. How alike are we to him? It gives me an uneasy feeling in my stomach. It's not just gas.

The story of Tatiana is a truly sad one. We can't be shocked that the animal was vicious or barbaric. She's a tiger for goodness sake. They are instinctual and they prey on and kill other animals. Just because we stick them in a pretty "enclosure" doesn't take their natural desire to hunt away. But it is a tragedy. Those poor boys are maimed and one dead at seventeen. Can you imagine dying that way? Unfathomable. Zoos can be a good place. It allows us to learn about other animals and respect their need for survival as well as our own. Zoos have become a place of sanctuary for near-extinct animals like the Siberian tiger. I don't have anything profound to say about this. I wish I did, but I'm just saddened for both the victims and the tiger.

My last random thought will be about Facebook. I was hesitant to join yet another online community (aside from MySpace) and I couldn't figure out how to use it. But after several invitations to view profiles, etc. I gave in. It's been very interesting. And provides for hours of trivial amusement. Not many folks my age are on it. If you've heard of it, you know it was designed for colleges and that is the major user. But it's catching on worldwide and I've found some folks I haven't talked to in years. That's fun. It's not that I have to find these people. I'm happy with my current friends. But it's nice to catch up with people and see what they are doing now. Natural curiosity. Check it out. I like it better than MySpace because you don't get random friend requests from people you don't know. Somehow, that seems to make it more "intimate."

Cookies and Coffee

2007-12-23T15:54:00.000-05:00

This is been the weekend of cookies. Caroline and I are having some friends over for a Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow, so this weekend, I was chained to the kitchen. It's been fun. I am really enjoying it. I found some new cookie recipes on the internet (Myrecipes.com), and for the last two days I've been baking up a storm. The first cookie I made was actually a biscotti, cranberry and chocolate chip. I have never made biscotti before so this was a treat. Actually, I've never made any of the cookies I made this weekend. The biscotti turned out pretty yummy. The next cookie I made was pinolli. Caroline found this recipe in some Martha Stewart Magazine called Blueprint, which she will apparently stop publishing some time soon. We had some pinolli at Iggie's Pizza in Mt. Vernon. Mine didn't come out as good, but I was still impressed with myself nonetheless.

I also made two drop cookies - Oatmeal, chocolate chip, pecan and cranberry coconut chews. Neither of my cookies seemed to come out the way they're pictured on the website, but they both taste good. Frankly, I can't see how either of these cookies could be considered "drop" cookies. I thought the dough for both was very crumbly and I had to mold it into cookies before I put it on the baking sheet. However, they taste good and I hope they'll be a hit with the guests. It's really satisfying to try out new recipes. I haven't enjoyed cooking in a long time so it felt good to get back in the kitchen and cook things from scratch.

My other "from scratch" accomplishments for the weekend are cranberry sauce (I grew up eating that jello stuff from the can) and corn bread (to be used for the stuffing). However, what I am most proud of is the chocolate covered strawberries! Yum! Another new experiment for me.

You may be wondering if we're going to prepare any food that isn't dessert. Well, we have a full menu, most of which will be made tomorrow by Caroline, with the exception of the turkey and the stuffing. Caroline is making all the vegetable dishes, of which there are 4 or 5. She's also making yummy savory scones. I'm making the turkey (cross your fingers for me), the stuffing, and kugel. It should be a yummy feast.

And now for topic #2 - Coffee. I'm on a coffee tasting exhibition with our local roast masters, Zeke's. I've switched up my habits a bit. During the week, we set up our coffee to brew in advance of our waking. For this, we use Peet's. They deliver. But on the weekends, I wanted no shortcuts. We grind whole beans right before brewing. So for my whole bean fix, I've been patronizing Zeke's. They do their own roasting and I'm impressed with their selection of organic fairly traded coffees. What I'm even more pleased about is how they package the beans. I mean, they package it like everyone else, BUT they offer a half and half blend. Half regular, half decaf. Let me tell you what a pain in the ass it is to do that yourself at home. Getting two bags of coffee, one regular, one decaf, scooping some from each, etc, etc. It is a real treat. I recently tried their Ethiopian Sumatra and found it just wasn't dark enough for me. Today I broke into a French Roast. I enjoyed it, but I'm still looking for something a little more full bodied. Whatever is the next blend, it's sure to be good. Zeke's has really brightened my weekends. I highly recommend checking out their website or stopping by their store. They also have a great stand at the Waverly Farmers Market on Saturday mornings.

Happy brewing!

I'm Back... and Just In Time

2007-12-08T16:41:00.000-05:00

Hi all, I'm back from a hiatus. This has been a challenging month, one in which blogging the randomness of my mind just wasn't going to happen. Basically, I've been preoccupied with my friend's family crisis. I didn't want to blog about it, but I will a bit today.

My best friend, T, had a family emergency in October. Her husband had a stroke caused by a large brain tumor. He has brain cancer at 43. The surgeons didn't expect him to survive the surgery, but he did. His prognosis for the cancer, however, is uncertain. And the stroke itself caused significant damage. He's lost all mobility on his right side. He's been in the hospital since the stroke, though he could be released any day now. He's currently undergoing chemotherapy and radiation for the cancer. They have two children, 6 and 3.

I can't believe T has to go through this. My heart is breaking for her. I can't imagine what it is to have life change so drastically and so permanently in a moment's time. She's trying to make sure her husband gets the best treatment while also keeping life as stable and normal as possible for their children. A 6-year old and 3-year old can't be expected to understand what's happening to their father. For them, it must be the worst feeling in the world to see him in the hospital, head shaved and unable to talk.

Caroline and I went to see her the week of Thanksgiving. T lives in California and I'm here in Baltimore. I feel so helpless being so far from her and the kids. My brief visit wasn't all that helpful. What can I do in a few days to help with a lifetime of changes? I struggled with my need to be helpful and T's need to be independent, strong, and normal. She deals with this day in and day out. She knows she has to find time to go to the grocery store, do the laundry, play with the kids. She can't rely on me who's only there a few days. It was hard.

I love them all so much. But really, what could anyone do? One of the worst things that could happen has happened, not to me but to her. I will be here however she needs me and I hope that brings her a little bit of comfort.

So as I bring myself back to my here and now, this situation makes me think about universal healthcare. It's what the Democrats want to bring to the table if they are elected president. Most of the major candidates have a universal healthcare proposal. Paul Krugman has recently criticized Barack Obama's plan (read this column and this one). The basic flaw in Obama's plan is the lack of a mandate stating everyone must buy into the plan. He's throwing out some Republican garbage about not having mandates, but the effect is to weaken the plan. He says you don't have to buy into the plan if you don't want to but the plan will be there when you need it. So many folks won't buy the insurance until they need it shifting the cost of the plan onto those who buy it now.

This has given me some pause with Barack. A few months ago he was saying all the right things about gay marriage. I was almost ready to settle on him as my candidate. But then he invited this anti-gay minister to speak at one of his rallies and now there's this misguided anti-mandate in his "universal" healthcare proposal. He's heading down the same path Howard Dean did for me four years ago. I was a Deaniac. I liked him a lot. But then Howie stuck his foot in his mouth over and over again on some foreign policy issues (long before the infamous Iowa screaming) and I became disappointed in him. I didn't care for Kerry or Edwards and so I was left without a candidate.

The same is going to happen this time around. I'm not thrilled about Hillary. Not at all. She certainly won't advance the gay agenda very far, if at all, and that's important to me as I bring a child into the world with my partner. It doesn't really matter what I think though. The nomination will be wrapped up before Maryland has its say.

However, if you want some help picking your candidate, the Washington Post has crafted this handy Candidate Quiz. It takes a little time to work all the way through it, but it's comprehensive. It's based on candidate answers to a bunch of questions. I quit a little over half way through since it seemed like there was one candidate that was standing out above the rest. Turned out to be John Edwards. Thing is, I don't really believe Edwards is genuine. I think he's just saying what he's saying to win the nomination. His "son of the working class" theme just hits me the wrong way. That's the flaw in the quiz. You have to take all the answers at face value. By the way, there's a quiz for the Republicans too. I'm thinking about trying it to see who the least detestable candidate is.

Catching Up

2007-10-21T16:14:00.000-04:00

Sorry I've missed the blogosphere for a couple of weeks. Trust me, I miss it. There are so many things to rant and muse about. This is going to be a short post, just to update what I've been letting lurk in my brain.

First a musing. The Republican Primary contest. So enjoyable to watch the Republicans find their own candidates a bit nauseating. Whatever will they do? Wink, wink. I read a great article in Friday's Washington Post about how the Evangelical Christians, the Republicans most solid voting block, aren't excited about any of the Republican candidates for president, not at all surprising. Many expect this voting block to sit out the general election if Giuliani is the nominee because their one voting issue, abortion, will be a wash. It's just plain fun to watch this go down.

Now a ranting. Bush's veto of S-CHIP. I haven't fallen off the planet, but just haven't had the time to blog. Meanwhile, Bush has done the stupidest thing in his years as president (yes, I really feel that way). I'm so disgusted by the lies he's told to justify his position, and the outcome! To deny health care to millions (millions!!!!) of children. I'm truly sickened by it. So much so, I really can't write anything else. However, I do highly recommend reading this Paul Krugman's Op-Ed column on the issue.

Finally, I'll update on the baby situation. All is absolutely wonderful. I'm in the second trimester and most systems are functioning really well. Last week we had our sonogram and found out we're having a boy!!! I'm so excited. I really wanted a boy, but don't ask me to explain that. I think he's beautiful. Of course, seeing a black & white picture of him made by a contraption that uses sounds to create a picture is hardly the way to judge how beautiful he is, but trust me, he is wonderful. I'm feeling him move around more and more, which is so freaky and great.

I know many of you may have questions about lesbian pregnancy, like how did you do it and who's the daddy, etc. I'm inviting you to ask any and all questions and I will answer them in great detail in a future post. Please don't be shy. Bring it on.

Coffee tip: Get back to basics. Go buy some freshly roasted beans at a local coffee distributor. Get out the grinder and make yourself a fresh pot of coffee with freshly ground beans. Then sit back, sip and relax.

Coffee IS Good for You!

2007-10-08T16:28:00.000-04:00

Recently, my partner decided to quit coffee, believing it is the culprit behind various maladies. As you would expect, quitting caused her great pains - headaches, fatigue, general feeling of daze. There's a school of thought that says if you have a caffeine high, you'll have a caffeine low and in order to be more even, you should quit the joe.

I couldn't disagree more. Yes, coffee must be addictive. Otherwise, why would quitting be so hard, and why do I continue to crave coffee's sweet nectar? But according to many, many studies summarized in a WebMD article, coffee is darn good for you! I'm not going to question the wisdom of these studies. No other drug gets such great press. Bottom line is that there is great benefit to drinking at least two cups of regular coffee a day.

Coffee isn't just the substance that keeps you regular anymore. It reduces your chances of getting serious diseases such as Diabetes and Parkinson's. It also reduces your chances of getting certain cancers. According to researchers, it's the caffeine in coffee that makes it so good. Yes, we drinkers of the juice know that already. But it's the caffeine that boosts our chances of staying healthy. There is more caffeine is a cup of coffee than there is in soda or chocolate. And coffee doesn't have to have the crap that soda and chocolate have. Coffee is pure.

Even decaf coffee offers some benefit, but not nearly as much as the beloved caffeinated version. Hey, it's in Wikipedia! There's also bunches of antioxidants in coffee. We love antioxidants. So don't fret my friends. Drink some joe.

Coitus and the Law

2007-10-05T16:17:00.000-04:00

I read an article in the Baltimore Sun the other day that just blew me away. There is a case before the Maryland Court of Appeals that is trying to decide if an act is rape if the sex was initially consented to, but then objected to later in the act. This blows my mind. Apparently, there is actual law that discusses various stages of sex and whether or not consent is needed throughout. I feel like I'm on some other planet.

When the lawmakers get together and write these laws, do any of them ever think it odd that this should even be decided by them? How many years will it be before a woman's right to consent is no longer decided by lawmakers? It's taken us this long to acknowledge that rape occurs, which implies that woman have a right to consent. But what I didn't realize until reading this article was that after a woman says "yes," she has to keep going until the man is finished. Sure, she can say "no" but the guy doesn't have to stop, and when he doesn't stop he's not raping her.

Help me understand how this happened. Help me understand how anyone ever felt entitled to write laws that govern when women can consent to sex and when they can't. Apparently, when a woman consents to sex, she's entered into a binding contract. What would happen if a man took a woman to court for not completing her obligation? "She said yes, and half-way through she wanted to stop which caused me duress. I'm suing for damages. She broke her contract." That's absurd, right? You know, I know it may be inconvenient to have to stop in the middle, but life is full of inconveniences.

Clearly, our laws still favor a man's right to sex. A woman, by her biological nature, is obligated to provide sex to a man, except under certain circumstances. You can say "no" and then the man has to respect that, but if you say "yes" you are fully obligated to follow through.

If the court doesn't rule in favor of changing the law, the only recourse will be the legislature. I'm having reflux here. The argument to keep the law the same will be to reduce the instances that woman will cry "rape" when, according to men, rape didn't occur. But our justice system should be able to discern a real rape. And frankly, that's just a fear tactic played on the feeble sensibilities of men who aren't sure they want their own sexual behavior to undergo scrutiny.

I hope the court will see fit to make the right decision on behalf of women.

Another topic - City Cafe in Mt. Vernon. I went there this morning to study and I bought a fresh squeezed orange juice ($2.95) and a bagel. After a while I decided to order some soup. When I went back to the counter, one of the staff was preparing more cups of fresh squeezed OJ. The City Cafe gets its fresh squeezed OJ from cartons of Tropicana Orange Juice - No Pulp. Hey, if you're going to lie about your product, maybe you should prepare it out of sight of the customers. Just a thought.

Can we solve our marriage crisis?

2007-10-01T14:19:00.000-04:00

This is the only place I can really rant. Believe it or not, some people don't like to hear me rant. I don't know why. I'm actually a little unprepared. I should really post my rants right when the mood hits me. But that's usually when I'm in my car with nothing but my thoughts to occupy me.

Let me go back and revisit some recent topics. Specifically, gay marriage in Maryland. You can go back and read my previous post on the topic. Now that the court has ruled against gay marriage, the issue, and the solution, falls back into the hands of us gay folks and our allies. After reading some of the analysis on the court case itself, I have to admit that I think we've pursued the wrong path from the beginning. I've always thought the gay marriage battle was premature. I've since altered that position, but not completely. It's premature for many of us who had no need to get married. But after being with my partner for over six years, and now that we're starting a family, the need for marriage laws is a much higher priority for me. I think that gays and lesbians who are arguing that pursuing gay marriage is premature ought to consider that their position is influenced by their current, probably stable, personal situation.

None-the-less, politically, it is clear that the will to give GLBT citizens equal access to marriage equality just doesn't exist. It doesn't exist anywhere, even in Massachusetts. In Massachusetts, the supreme court ruled in favor of gay families, but at least a slight majority of citizens disagreed with the ruling. Subsequently, the state legislature began a bloody battle of trying to change their constitution to specifically prohibit gay marriage. The effort failed, thankfully, in part to getting a new governor who didn't support the measure. And so gay marriage exists in one state of the union.

In many other states, gay marriage has been outright rejected, or ignored, and on occasion, "compromised" into something called civil unions. While Maryland has been able to defeat amendments to our state's constitution banning gay marriage, actually getting pro-gay marriage legislation passed is another matter altogether.

One newspaper article questioned the timing of the lawsuit. Apparently our Court of Appeals was pretty conservative, but two judges were nearing their mandated retirement. Just in time for our newly elected Democratic governor to appoint new ones. Most of us believe he'll appoint progressive judges to the court. With his wife being a judge, our governor has a pretty intimate knowledge of the candidate pool. Anyway, the question is, why not wait for this opportunity? It seems that a different set of judges would have ruled in our favor. No guarantees, obviously, but our chances would have been better. I've heard that our lobbying group, Equality Maryland, was frustrated at their lack of progress during the recent Republican administration and decided to take their legal battles to the court. I think the families who were a part of that lawsuit were counseled poorly. We've suffered a setback and I think it will take us a good amount of time to overcome it.

Let's consider the landscape. Our state is facing a $1.5 billion budget deficit that must be overcome in order to balance the budget, which is required by law. For years, long before our Republican governor came and went, legislators have been crying for structural changes in the budget to fix the bothersome deficit. O'Malley, newly elected governor, has decided to take it on. I don't like all his strategies (and I'll write about that some other time), but his effort is long overdue and really brave. Most importantly, it will take all the political muscle he can muster up. You see, the plan involves taxes, and lots of them. There will be very little room left in his legislative agenda for anything else. He will blow all his favors on getting his budget bills passed. Gay marriage will be so far off his radar screen, not to mention that of our legislature's, we don't have a snowball's chance in hell (I've always wanted to use that saying) of being successful this year.

How do you think our brave GLBT lobby will handle this situation? They're going to ignore it. This is our greatest downfall. We're going to act like there is nothing else as important as getting the right to marry. We're going to march into our legislator's office, piled with over 1,000 bills, and scream and yell about how we're being discriminated against and insist they drop everything to correct this injustice. That will be our first mistake. We won't look at the big picture. We'll act like our heads have been buried in the sand. Forget the deficit! I want to plan my wedding!

Listen, I want to get married. Believe me, I'm scared for my child and what obstacles Caroline and I will have to overcome being gay parents. But most people can't sympathize with my position. They don't understand, and during a 90-day legislative session, they don't have enough time to learn. What are we doing about it now? Before the fun begins? Where is the organizing of Equality Maryland? All they care about is their upcoming fundraiser. It doesn't cost much to start a letter-writing campaign. You've got a contact list, send an email. Our legislators need to start hearing from us now. But nope. Equality Maryland is more concerned about pulling off another great gig, and maybe we'll hear from them again in January.

Well, I'm going to write to my legislators. They need to hear from us. They need to know how marriage discrimination is affecting our everyday lives. I don't think we'll solve our marriage crisis this year, but if we could, we're getting a really slow start.

Wealthy Can Afford Raise in Top Tax Rate

2007-09-23T09:48:00.000-04:00

Gov. Martin O'Malley should be commended for the changes he's proposing to Maryland's income tax rates ("O'Malley details cut in income tax," Sept. 20).

Although the changes are relatively modest, Mr. O'Malley has approached income tax reform in a fair way.

Given Maryland's status as the richest state in the union, those earning salaries above $150,000 should be able to cough up an additional 1 percent of their income to continue to enjoy the services they receive from our government.

Most Republicans applauded President Bush when he implemented his devastating tax cuts.

Now Mr. O'Malley wants to give working families a break by making our tax code more progressive, and the Republicans are trying to find something wrong with the plan.

But the fact is that you can only cut so much from the budget while demanding road and bridge repairs, new schools, and better government services.

And since the changes in the income tax system are the fairest part of Mr. O'Malley's deficit-reduction plan, that proposal deserves a chance.

Aimee Darrow

Baltimore

This was published in today's Baltimore Sun

. What I can do now is add the parts the editor cut out. Most importantly, I pointed out that when Bush sent everyone those ridiculous $100 checks, the Republicans almost wet their pants telling us how fair he was to working families. O'Malley's new income tax plan will save most Marylanders about the same amount of money annually.

I also noted that the Republicans all support slot machine gambling to raise revenue, which is most devastating to low-income families. It seems like they want Maryland's low-income families to shoulder the burden of closing our deficit. It's only fair that wealthier Marylanders pay their fair share.

On to another topic, I've added some cool new links you should check out to further your knowledge of the great world of coffee. Check out Coffee Universe which should also be known as "Coffee University" for all the good information it has. I also added a link to Paul Krugman's blog, which I mentioned a couple posts ago. In the future, I'll be adding some GLBT parenting sites.

This Sunday is a beautiful day for that perfect cup of coffee and some knitting. Kick back and enjoy.

Don't read the message boards

2007-09-21T08:17:00.000-04:00

Not only is this the week GLBT Marylanders were let down by our court system, but it is also the week of Jena 6. This is an amazing issue, especially considering the decades that have passed since segregation and Jim Crow. The injustice against these six kids in a small southern town has incensed most of us who believe in fairness, justice and equality. It makes me feel ashamed that our country can't let go of its racist roots. How far will we have to dig to rid ourselves of this blatant racism?

I hate to recap because I'm sure I'll miss important details, so be sure to check out the NAACP's website for the most up-to-date information on the case. Here's what I know - About a year ago, some black students in Jena, Louisiana, asked their principal if they could sit under a tree known to be the "white" tree. Of course they were granted permission (although why they even had to ask is beyond me). But the following day, three nooses were hung from the tree. Clearly this is a hate crime and an act of intimidation that hales back decades. The school administrators called it a prank and left it at that. The incident led to mutual aggressions between black and white students. One of those aggressions were these six students beating up a white student until he fell unconscious. That student was treated at a hospital and released after a couple of hours. I read somewhere that he attended a school event that same evening. The six black students were arrested and charged with attempted murder. Outrageous. After several incidents, these were the only students to be arrested and the charges brought against them clearly didn't match the crime. Anyway, what followed was a series of injustices against these six students, leading one to continue to be incarcerated to this day.

Yesterday, the NAACP and others organized a rally at Jena to protest the injustice that continues with their legal system. Similar protests were held all over the country, including Baltimore. It feels good that people are recognizing the injustice and not being complacent. These protests should really have an effect on the outcome of the pending cases and hopefully the prosecutor will be disciplined for his clearly racist agenda.

The Baltimore Sun covered the protests in Jena and locally. The Sun also printed coverage of the recent Court of Appeals case decided against gay marriage. Curiosity got the best of me and I peeked at the message boards that responded to the two articles. I wanted to see what regular people were saying about the various issues. What I found was really disturbing. It seems like people feel that they can be outwardly hateful on the boards.

Here's an example from the Jena 6 story:

This makes me sick. I am a minority and I completely disagree with this whole Jena Six nonsense. The student who did the "prank" was suspended from the school he was attending. Had those six black students protested back then, maybe they would have some leverage to say he should have charges agaisnt him. Instead they beat the kid unconscious. That's attempted murder. That is clearly defined in the law of our country. What black people are arguing is that serious violence is ok, so long as you are retaliating in response to a racial slur or a racial scene. Haning nooses on a tree was wrong, but who did it hurt? It hurt the student. The black kids could have gotten him back by desecrating a KKK hood or something similar. Instead they went way beyond what was necessary and almost killed him. I can't believe the so many people are so ignorant to this situation. Dr. MLK Jr. wouldn't even condone the actions of those black students. Racism is wrong... but physically attacking someone is worse. No Justice No Peace? Yea, take some of your own advice.

And from the gay marriage board:

It is about time that common sense prevailed. Men who want to marry men are perverts. Women who want to marry women are perverts.

I commend the court for upholding the ban on same sex marriages! Marriage is a sacred bond between a MAN & a WOMAN!! Personally, I think it should be banned in all 50 states! Hopefully other states will follow suit and follow MD down the non-rainbow road!

To all those that oppose gay marriage: I hope you have daughters, and that those daughters marry gay men that have been beaten back into the closet by your own ignorance and proselytism. (This guy really let the posters get to him. Why would anyone wish that on an innocent straight girl?)

So, is everyone in favor of letting bi-sexual polygamists marry multiple partners of different genders? How about a father marrying a consenting adult daughter? Are Homosexuals going to draw the line at their behavior or will they push the envelope for incestuous marriage, etc?

Wow, ignorance is powerful! We can't stop teaching people about our history. We're not ready to move on yet. For now, I've learned not to read the message boards.

The End of Times Select!

2007-09-19T16:16:00.000-04:00

In the wake of a devastating decision by Maryland's highest court to reject equality, the New York Times makes a decision to embrace it. No, I'm not talking about GLBT equality. I'm talking about the end of Times Select, the members only section of NYTimes.com. All the best features were saved to those who subscribed, which I refused to do. Now, as of today, they've put and end to it and opened up the months of columns and features that have been denied to us. Archives are free to view.

I have a lot of catching up to do. My favorite columnist, Paul Krugman, is now available to preach to me twice a week, Tuesdays and Fridays. And he's got a blog! It's called The Conscience of a Liberal which is also the title of his latest book. I can't get into all the reasons I love Paul Krugman, but I assure you, he's worth the read.

I want to commend the New York Times for ending Times Select. I can now fully enjoy the NYTimes.com experience.

Bring on the coffee (still decaf)!

A sad day for GLBT Marylanders

2007-09-18T21:03:00.000-04:00

Today, Maryland's Court of Appeals ruled against the 19 gay and lesbian couples who sued the state for the right to marry. I won't try to explain the legal issues argued because I'm no expert. The ACLU argued that Maryland's gay marriage ban was discriminatory based on sex and argued that gays and lesbians should have the right to marry under the state's Equal Rights Amendment. Our highest court rejected this argument. You can read the ruling here or excerpts of it here.

Our only recourse is to take our fight to the state legislature. After being flatly rejected by our court system, I don't have much faith that we can get the legislature to budge on this issue. We may have won the battle against a constitutional amendment, but that wasn't easy. The fight to actually gain rights will be much harder and there's little incentive for legislators to change the status quo.

And to make matters worse, the GLBT community is dependent on Equality Maryland to lead the charge for marriage rights. This effort will take a major feat in organizing, something Equality Maryland really sucks at doing. The Executive Director, who's been around for several years now, doesn't even know all the legislators' names, especially those from Baltimore City. He's shown a disdain for our city and tries to get everything done without stepping foot in it. Apparently, they recently hired a legislative coordinator who lives in the city. That's a step, but there's no time to waste now. Our legislative session starts in January. We need to have house parties and meet ups right away to create a coordinated campaign.

On a more personal note, as Caroline and I begin our family, this decision personally affects me more than ever. We have to jump through legal hoops just to make sure our child's parents will be recognized as the family we are. Wills, powers of attorney, second parent adoption, and others I haven't thought of yet. Ironically, one of the first statements of the ruling starts with, "In declaring that the State's legitimate interests in fostering procreation and encouraging the traditional family structure...." (emphasis mine) Are these two things completely intertwined? I'm procreating. Doesn't that count? I guess not because we don't have a "traditional" family structure. Well, I'm glad my family isn't traditional. My child will grow up with three loving parents. How could that be bad? Unfortunately, he or she will have to explain over and over again to friends and adults what our family looks like and how it's just as great as anyone else's.

The court ignored the reality that science has created. Anyone can become a parent through the miracle of modern science. Our laws and legal system need to recognize the reality of today's society. There is such thing as a "traditional" family, but there's no justifiable reason to cater to that family structure. No one suffers by being more inclusive.

If you want to learn more about the case, visit the ACLU website here. I think this is significant enough to require more blogging, so I will continue the discussion in future blogs.

Confessions

2007-09-08T17:12:00.000-04:00

Well, since starting my blog earlier this summer, I have been writing about the joys of caffeine, the greatest nectar of the morning. However, it is time for me to confess... I have been decaffeinated since early spring. Please don't think me deceitful. I love caffeine and I miss it dearly. But since April, I have been trying to conceive my first child, and the news is good! I'm three months pregnant. I hope by now, I've told you personally. If not, I swear I was going to. Anyway, that's two confessions for you. Here's one of my all time favorite Dilbert cartoons to mark the occasion (of my decaffeinating).

The baby is due March 16, 2008 and Caroline and I are totally thrilled. We don't know yet if it's a boy or a girl, but we should be finding out sometime in October. I will slowly begin enjoying the sweet nectar of caffeine after that date (meaning March). It's been challenging. I'm taking classes and the one thing I truly enjoy while sitting in a classroom is coffee. Especially after a long workday. But there is a greater good.

On to this Tuesday's municipal election. Vote! This election is often overlooked. Heck, we're only voting for Mayor, City Council President and some lame city councilman, right? Hello??? What election could be more important to your day to day? Here's my list of endorsements:

Mayor: Don't bother. I know you're going to be there anyway, but I can't bring myself to vote for any of our candidates. If you trust the polls, Sheila's got this wrapped anyway. We'll see how it goes.

City Council President: MICHAEL SARBANES. He has real world experience in tackling the problems our city grapples with. We need someone with the commitment to try new ways to make our city better. This is the only race that will truly be decided Tuesday, by your votes. It's a close one, but get to the polls, and vote Sarbanes.

Councilfolk: We've got fourteen districts, but I don't know who's running in all of them. I do know a couple of candidates that I'll plug here. BILL HENRY is running in the 4th. He, too, actually has worked in this city and directly on building on its strengths. His work at Patterson Park CDC proves it. FRED MASON is running in the 11th. This is his first run for office and our first opportunity to elect a gay candidate to the council. I think we need one. It's shameful that more gay folks don't run for office so we have to snatch up this opportunity. Also, Fred is a really smart guy who will add to the city council's new creative team. Finally, although there's no chance of this woman losing, I've got to give a shout out for MARY PAT CLARKE. She's in the 14th and she's a workhorse. She gives so much to the city and she serves her constituents well.

One last note before I go. A final farewell to a great man, Alfred H. Peet. He died August 29th at the age of 87. His dedication to good coffee, from beans to brew, was the impetus of the coffee revolution in the U.S. Learn more about the man and read testimonials here.

Rich state can afford greater tax burden

2007-09-03T19:18:00.000-04:00

Letters to the Editor
September 2, 2007

Rich state can afford greater tax burden

With Maryland now the richest state in the country, I can't understand why citizens have such an aversion to helping the needy by paying more taxes ("Maryland is ranked as richest state," Aug. 29).

Even increasing taxes by a tiny fraction would raise a significant amount of state revenue. And there clearly are a large number of people in the state earning a decent income, even as a significant minority live in poverty and lack health insurance.

We should do the right thing and take advantage of our prosperity to help our fellow citizens who need a safety net.

Slot machines are not the answer to our fiscal problems.

Instead, let's all dig a little deeper to pay for the things we value, including health care and education. They are worthwhile investments for the wealthiest state in the union.

Aimee Darrow

Baltimore

Come out, come out wherever you are!

2007-08-31T17:12:00.000-04:00

I'm loving the demise of the Republican party. I know, maybe I'm being optimistic, but come on! Enjoy yourself. The most recent debacle, Idaho Senator Craig. I love it. I'm just glad the gay scandal is surrounding a Republican. One day I will celebrate the day when these bathroom trists draw as little attention as the endless female prostitutes coming in and out of our elected officials hotel rooms. But for now, I get a thrill out of Republicans being accused of exactly what they profess to hate. The cartoons resulting from scandals like this are worth it.

I see two results that could come of these gay scandals. The best one is that the Republicans will realize it's too difficult to demonize gays when there are so many among their ranks. On the other hand, it could lead only the most religious zealots to be elected. (Secretly, I wouldn't mind if that happened cus you know there are some gay folk among them too.)

This is the last weekend of summer (not technically, but you know what I mean). Enjoy those last few iced lattes. I'm off to Berkeley Springs for a little R & R with my babe.

Birth Control Watch

2007-08-26T13:18:00.000-04:00

I read a pretty scary Op-Ed in the Baltimore Sun the other day which further convinced me that another four years of a Republican in the White House will be like a nuclear holocaust on our country. Cristina Page, the author of How the Pro-Choice Movement Saved America: Freedom, Politics and the War on Sex, wrote a piece about the subtle, quiet movement against contraception. She points out the code the Republican presidential candidates are using to let the Christian right know they are against all forms of contraception. How far back in time do these fanatics want to go?

I really don't understand the opposition to birth control. I suppose no one should have sex without the goal of creating life. I wonder if husbands refrain from having sex with their pregnant wives. No need for it, right?

It's really scary to think that another Republican president could bring us all the way back to 1950. One more term and Roe v. Wade would surely be overturned. States are already doing as much as they can to reduce access to family planning, birth control and abortions. This is truly our most basic fight. If women can't have sovereignty over their own bodies, then half the country will be second class citizens. That's the Republican agenda as we speak.

We cannot tolerate this agenda and we cannot allow this minority of fanatic Christians determine the rights of half the country. We have to make sure that a Democrat wins the presidential election. I think we will, as the country is getting pretty tired of the mess the Republican agenda has left our country, but we can't take it for granted.

Check out Birth Control Watch. It's slightly fanatical in its own right, but has useful information.

Aimee for Mayor!

2007-08-22T18:54:00.000-04:00

In Baltimore's September 11 Democratic primary, I'm writing in a new candidate for mayor - me. Even with nine candidates to choose from, there's no one I find inspiring, much less qualified. The front-runners are current Mayor Sheila Dixon and City Councilman Keiffer Mitchell. I started out supporting Mitchell, primarily because he was the best of the challengers. Sheila, as most people call her, has too many issues with her ethics. She's also never had an innovative idea in her entire career. What Sheila doesn't understand is that ethics is not just about what is legal or not, but what appears improper. She has disregarded the law on several occasions and claimed ignorance. Sheila has been acting like her sister's employment agency for years. It's a hard pill to swallow. But she put the cherry on top when she hired her sister to work her campaign. That's not illegal, but after several ethics investigations involving her behavior and her sister, you'd think she would know to avoid anything that could be perceived as improper. But that's typical Sheila.

Given Sheila's issues, I was ready to vote for Keiffer. However, Keiffer has just pushed my commitment too far. His campaign adds have been so negative and have exploited Baltimore's homicide problem. One of his ads goes so far as to feature a gun shot and an implied death of a youth. I was totally turned off by this. I was going to hold my nose and vote for him anyway, but then he really went south. He hired Julius Henson. Julius Henson has a checkered past in the campaign world. He's considered a "dirty" campaigner. He referred to a Bob Erhlich as a "nazi" in 2002. Now I don't like Erhlich, but that's just unnecessary. He plays the race card too freely, just to make noise. It's a sad turn of events in a campaign for a decent guy. It just goes to far and I can't hold my nose anymore.

Trouble is, I don't like any of the other candidates, so I'm turning to someone I can trust. Of course my one vote for me won't make much of a difference in the outcome of this race, but at least I won't feel bad when I leave the polls.

At least there is one candidate I am excited about. I'm voting for Michael Sarbanes for City Council President. He's a man who's spent most of his life in some sort of public service. I'm not going to give you his life story, you can check out his website for that. But when you compare him to the others, it's a clear choice. Anyway, Sarbanes has real ideas and experience to implement them. And he's not a typical politician. He believes in pushing the boundaries of his position to the limit to create positive change. I'm looking forward to his win.

Till next time, I'm going to sip a latte.

I'm a self-waxer

2007-08-20T11:47:00.000-04:00

I'm a self-waxer. I'm so proud of my latest accomplishment. For the last year, I have been getting my legs (among other things) waxed by a professional (on half-priced Tuesdays at Neal's). I'm completely addicted to it. Since I'm pretty hairy, I would have to shave daily or every other day. Now, I don't even think about it for weeks. No stubble, nothing. And now no cuts. It's very liberating.

But it's also a costly habit, so I've taken matters into my own hands. This weekend, I waxed my own legs. It was great! At first, I was a bit haphazard and messy - wax all over my hands, etc. But once I got into a groove, it was easy and fun. It's much cheaper than visits to Neal's. I wouldn't recommend home waxing for anyone who never had their legs waxed. I think it was easy for me because I'm used to it.

Recently, I've been moved by the tragedy of the trapped miners in Utah. It's such a terrible situation. Something isn't right about the owner of the mine. He's so adamant about the earthquake being the cause of the cave-in despite experts providing another option - the cave-in caused the earthquake. Now the rescue has been suspended and their families are left in limbo. It's just a sad situation all around.

I've been listening to the news this afternoon, and apparently the only news worthy event is when people die. I hope that I don't die in some bizarre way that ends up in the news. That's my newest goal.

It's cool today, so I'm enjoying a hot cup of coffee. Very comforting on an overcast day.

Are you a Coffee Swilling Beaver?

2007-08-17T12:02:00.000-04:00

This gave me a giggle this morning. (I do not have permission to re-print this cartoon. Look away to avoid breaking the law.)

In These Times

2007-08-13T11:18:00.000-04:00

Okay, so in my quest for real news, I've turned to my favorite magazine, In These Times. I love this magazine and I highly recommend reading it. Kurt Vonnegut is associated with its origins. He's one of my heroes and I'm sure he's partly responsible for the thinker I am today (read God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater and Breakfast of Champions).

Anyway, this magazine has wonderfully written articles about very current issues. When I went to the website the other day, an article about my great state of Maryland was featured. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of news I like reading. The title is "Equating Stillbirths with Murders." It's about Maryland's Viable Fetus Act. Apparently, our lawmakers thought they were doing a noble thing by making the death of a fetus a crime equal to murder. The lawmakers were hopefully thinking of pregnant women who are abused, or worse, murdered and the abuse results in the death of the unborn baby. But right-to-lifers are using it to punish women whose fetuses die for one reason or another.

A woman in Ocean City was arrested because her child was delivered stillborn, which happens for any variety of reasons. In Maryland, mothers are supposed to be exempt from prosecution under this law, but other states include mothers. I'm sure you can imagine the consequences to these laws combined with the irrationality of right-to-lifers. How far will they go to punish women whose babies aren't carried to term? Will every miscarriage be considered a crime scene? The last seven years of unchecked Republican rule has created a creepy society that is reminiscent of The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood. We really have to be vigilant with our local politicians because they really affect the law of the land.

Something has just occurred to me. I'm watching The View, post Rosie, and their guest host is a gay man, Ross "The Intern" Matthews. Last week, they had another gay male guest host, Mario Cantone. It would appear that Barbara Walters believes gay men are equal substitutes for women. Just a thought.

Here's a suggestion for those who can't stomach a full blown iced latte in this heat. Try iced espresso with a splash of half and half.

Our Democratic Presidential Candidates on Gay Rights

2007-08-11T12:26:00.000-04:00

An historic moment occurred the other night when HRC and Logo got the Democratic Presidential candidates together to question them on their positions on a host of gay rights issues. This has never happened before in a presidential race, and the outcome was very enlightening. Be sure to check out the video of the candidates here. The reason this debate is so important to me, is that somehow, I will have to distinguish between these candidates that are all basically the same. And these are the issues that are incredibly personal to me, so it's a good start.

I heard about the forum the next morning on NPR. My alarm woke me up to Barack Obama explaining why he supports civil unions, but not civil marriage (a position almost all the candidates have). Barack Obama supports full civil rights for gays and lesbians. He believes civil unions will be equal to civil marriage. But for him “marriage” can have religious connotations. For him, it's just a matter of semantics. He says semantics may be important to some, why not say it’s important to him? Because if it is just semantics, then why would it hurt to give us marriage instead of unions? Listen to yourself, Barack. Another little thing that pissed me off, was that he believes this isn't the time to fight for marriage rights. We should be focused on other more concrete civil rights issues like ending discrimination in the workplace, etc. The real issues with day to day consequences as he sees it. He doesn't believe our inability to marry one another and have the over 1,000 rights associated with marriage has day to day consequences. What's wrong with this picture?

Unfortunately, Hillary Clinton did no better, which is a shame. Frankly, I'm leaning toward voting for her, but sometimes she makes it hard for me. Her position is much less eloquent and frankly, misguided.

What she says here is that the states should continue to decide for themselves if they will allow gay marriage. Any idiot can see this is NOT in the best interests of gays and lesbians. Basically, she's saying it's okay that gays and lesbians won't know from state to state what level of rights they have. One state can have marriage, like Massachusetts. The next could have civil unions, like Vermont, and the next after that could have the klan, like any state in the south. Give me a break. She actually points out that many states outlawed any type of union for gays and lesbians, but then overlooks that fact by saying some states have taken a different position. How can this be okay? What is she smoking? Also, she doesn't suggest repealing DOMA altogether, but just the part that says states may not acknowledge the rights of other states.

This is a huge set back in my support of Hillary. While Barack talked in circles about semantics, he's at least consistent in his support that gays and lesbians need full equal rights in our society, not just state by state. If the country were completely (or more so than right now) in favor of gay marriage, you'd see all these politicians change their tunes.

Let me leave you with words from my favorite candidate who, sadly, will never get elected, Senator Mike Gravel who seems truly sincere in his support for gay marriage.

At least I get to hear these words of wisdom during the campaign. I'll be sad when we don't hear from him any longer after the first primaries are held and he drops out. Stay strong Mike!

Hello global warming!

2007-08-08T18:48:00.000-04:00

Well, today and yesterday have been over 100 degrees here in mobtown. So hot I wouldn't let my cats out to nap on the porch. At the same time, this morning there was some crazy storm in New York which effectively shut down the mass transportation system in one of the most crowded cities in the world. I don't know about you, but I think something fishy is going on here.

Not to mention that Maryland is experiencing one of its worst droughts in history and the governor seeking a drought disaster designation. When I go outside in heat like this, I have to suspect a culprit. Global warming can't be denied! And we are a part of creating this disaster. For example, I work downtown where the heat is at least 5 degrees higher than the rest of the city and the suburbs. The reason is all the freaking cars! And trucks and buses and so on and so forth. It's foul the pollution we all dump into this world.

I've been thinking about this more and more. Especially about what I can do to reduce all the CO2 I'm emitting. Partly because my BGE bill requires me to, and partly because I realize that I can have an effect on the environment, I've been reducing and reusing like crazy. Definitely the reducing part because it saves money. But when I also realized how I could reduce my personal CO2 emissions, I felt even more strongly about turning out the lights and turning off the AC. If we all worked to reduce our CO2, and I mean all, it could really make the difference. There are websites that you can check out to learn all about going green. But remember, you don't have to do it all. Any little change can make a big difference.

It's funny, I was watching a rerun of Oprah yesterday (I know, don't say it) and Al Gore was on giving his slide show. He was doing that part when he goes into the Loews and shows us what to buy to reduce our CO2, and pointing out how cheap it is. Of course it's all relative. For example, he picked up an AC filter which was environmentally friendly and said it costs less than ten bucks. What he doesn't say is that your everyday filter only costs about 50 cents. That's a big difference! Over time we'll save more than we spend, especially if we succeed in keeping the earth habitable, but let's not lie and say these things are completely easy. They're not. But it is worth it and I'm urging everyone to get a little greener.

In the sizzling heat, stay clear of the iced lattes and stick with iced coffee. You don't want dairy in your stomach in 100 degree temps.

What happened to the news?

2007-08-06T09:19:00.000-04:00

Let me lament again about my abscence from this blog. Once I think things have settled down, something unsettles again. That's life.

The familial visits are over for now. They went pretty well. I didn't snap at my mother until the last day of her visit. That's a real accomplishment for me. Usually I start snapping right away. I discovered a great activity to do with her. Cards. She remembers how to play canasta, so the three of us, my mom, me and Caroline, spent many hours doing that. I also had my brother, Stuart, stay with me one night. This, too, was a great accomplishment because he's disabled. I wasn't sure how he would do with the change in his routine, but he was great. I'll definitely do that again. And my mom appreciated having more time with him. So all worked out well.

I'm glad for the break, though. It's nice to just be me and Caroline again. And the cats, of course. And it's my favorite time of day again - Monday morning, with my cup of coffee.

I thought I'd revisit some of my previous posts. Specifically the one about where to get your news. Newspapers change their online formats every once in a while, trying to keep up with what's trendy and make a more user-friendly website. However, I find that at times, they make their sites too trendy and it no longer seems newspaperish. I'm referring right now to the Washington Post. (Although the most recent website to undergo such a change is the Baltimore Sun.)

Remember how I said that I liked the little gossipy quality about the Post? Well, they've taken it to a whole new level, and I have to put my foot down. The post has a section covering the presidential race called The Trail, and it's written like a blog. All articles covering the campaigns are placed in this section. It has really dumbed down the discussion to nothing but gossip. There's very little analysis, which is what I'm looking for. I think they've added this "blog" to their website to appeal to a younger audience, or something like that, but they've reduced their reporting so much, I can't read it anymore. Take, for example, the much criticized article about Hillary Clinton's cleavage. Why would the Post spend any ink on this? How is it at all relevant? And where are the corrosponding articles about the male candidates' asses and penis buldges?

I'm surprised there isn't an article discussing Barack Obama's anatomy. I mean, isn't that what everyone wonders about with African American men? How big is it really??? Of course, after the noise made about the article, the Post gets to do what all newspapers love to do ... write a story about itself. The Baltimore Sun is a regular culprit of this tactic. They love the attention. And so does the Post. It's news, right? Nope.

Anyway, this has all been really disappointing, especially since I regularly enjoyed my political news from the Post. I will click on a news title and hope it was originally published in the print version, but that's becoming increasingly rare. And The Trail is nothing but a waste of time, in my opinion. I'll be searching elsewhere for the good political stories and get back to you.

This weekend I enjoyed two great t.v. programs - the X Games, and beach volleyball. Girls in bikinis playing volleyball. Of course, as Caroline pointed out, they don't have any boobies. That's true, but easily overlooked as the rest of the package is nice. I have to assume that men love to watch this sport too, which makes me feel a little less proud of myself. I love the X Games. I love watching sports like skateboarding. I can't believe what these guys and gals do on a little board with wheels. It's been good entertainment.

Keep the caffeine coming.

Harry Potter!!

2007-07-23T12:45:00.000-04:00

July has been a busy month. It really feels like the 4th was just last week. My mother is coming to visit this weekend and as she leaves, my cousin is coming for a couple of days. It's family time. I don't know if its the sun or something else, but I'm looking forward to the parental visit. I'm planning a low key weekend. My brother, Stuart, who is mentally retarded, will stay over Saturday night, and we'll have a cookout with the whole family - me, mom, my brothers and Caroline. I'm becoming so domestic.

The biggest excitement of the month has been Harry Potter. Yes, I said Harry Potter. The fifth film started July 11 and the last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, was released Saturday, July 21. I'm a huge fan. I pre-ordered my book in February, and cleared my calendar this weekend for the marathon reading of the book. I was not disappointed at all. Which is all I'll say seeing as there are others still reading the 759 page book.

I was eagerly anticipating this final book. Everyone was. You couldn't get away from it on the news and in papers. I heard little tidbits here and there about how longtime fans might be disappointed in the book. All I have to say is congratulations to J.K. Rowling and her publishers for feeding all kinds of misinformation to the press. I was expecting something completely different and that's when I realized the press had been manipulated or was in on the manipulation of the rest of us. Good job.

I'll wait another month or so to get into the details of Harry's story. If you haven't read it by then, sorry. Every new book in the series has been pre-ordered and then read in one (long) sitting. It's a tradition. But years have passed between books. Now that the series has come to an end, I'm going to leisurely read all the books again, straight through. I think it will be very enjoyable, especially since the movies continue to be a bit more disappointing every time.

Making a movie of an 800 or so page book has got to be challenging. So I'm not going to criticize the filmmakers for their efforts. Maybe if they made a 3-hour film, they could fit in the plot development and all the action sequences. But most of their audience are kids with little tolerance for a 3-hour sit down. I think the actors have really embodied the characters well and now it's hard to imagine the characters without seeing the movie faces. I don't mind though. Especially since the actors have been consistent throughout, with the exception of Dumbledore. The original actor playing Dumbledore, Richard Harris, died after the second film, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

Anyway, blogging is also a great time to drink iced latte. Give it a try.

Tall, Grande, Venti?

2007-07-16T14:07:00.000-04:00

I think any blog about caffeine has to talk about Starbucks. Starbucks has grown so quickly that most people equate coffee with Starbucks. It's actually a quite unfortunate phenomenon. The problem is that Starbucks is like the McDonald's of coffee. If you like steak, do you go to McDonald's? No. It's not as extreme with Starbucks, but you get the point.

The thing about Starbucks is that it makes up its own rules about coffee. The most obvious and most talked about is the nonsensical labels for sizes. First, the smallest size is called a tall. Why? What's so tall about the smallest cup of coffee you offer? Then, the medium is a grande and a large is called a venti. Why does Starbucks use three different languages to identify its sizes?

What offends me so much about these sizes is that these labels are used for the espresso drinks. Espresso was not born as tall, grande or venti. No, espresso comes in shots. That's it. There's one, two, even three or four shots. The foundation of espresso drinks is the shot. Single, double, triple.

A cappuccino is 1/3 espresso, 1/3 steamed milk and 1/3 foam. If you start with a twelve ounce cup, you put in two shots of espresso. If you start with a 16 ounce cup, you would probably have to put double the espresso. Do you think Starbucks does that? Nope.

The worst thing is that Starbucks churns out these barristas, a cappuccino slinger, without really giving them the lowdown on coffee. Kids who haven't even lived long enough to know the magic of coffee are making your coffee drinks. You are leaving your caffeine fix in the hands of a 16-year-old. Watch out.

What do I recommend? My first suggestion is to support you local coffee joint whenever possible. Usually, your local coffee slinger has a passion for coffee. That passion is going to come through in every cup.

However, if you have to go to Starbucks, make sure you order it in Starbucks language. The fact is those barristas are given a formula and they can't vary from it. If you want your coffee to taste good, don't try to go against the tide that is Starbucks.

You, too, can be like Scooter

2007-07-09T15:47:00.000-04:00

I was watching a DVD the other day and noticed something a little disturbing about this warning:

If I illegally reproduce a DVD, I can be serve up to 5 years in prison and pay a fine of $250,000. Isn't that the same fine Scooter Libby paid for his treasonous acts?

It's good to know I'd be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

I gotta vacuum. Oprah is on telling me to de-clutter my house.

Breakfast at Wimbledon

2007-07-07T11:21:00.001-04:00

This morning's coffee came with a serving of Venus Williams, now one of the winningest women in tennis with four Wimbledon championships! Congratulations Venus!

I love women's tennis. I have missed the finals too often because it is played live at 9 a.m. But this morning I made it a point to watch it. And I'm glad I did. This marks the 50th anniversary of Althea Gibson's Wimbledon championship, the first black woman to win Wimbledon. How lovely it is for Venus to win her fourth championship this year.

Our tomatoes are finally turning red. I have to be a little more patient, but it shouldn't be too long until we're eating home grown grape tomatoes. I've definitely noticed that our plants enjoy the rain. Even though I water them regularly, they come alive in a completely different way after a good rain.

My friend Meridith pointed me to an interesting website in my last post. Sweet Maria's (check out the links in the Coffee list) is all about home coffee roasting. This seems like a really cool hobby, maybe one I'll explore soon. Can you imagine brewing fresh roasted coffee??? That would be a sweet buzz!!

Coffee tip #?: When buying roasted beans, keep in mind the saying, "the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice." I know it doesn't refer to coffee beans, but it could. Look for dark roasted beans. It will give you a richer cup of coffee. Light beans will be more acidic. But it can't just be dark. It has to have that nice coating of oil.

Canasta

2007-07-04T12:00:00.000-04:00

This morning I taught Caroline how to play Canasta, an old card game my grandparents taught me when I was a kid. It's a complicated game with many rules played with two decks of cards. The only people I knew who played the game were Jewish, so I always thought the game originated in Europe. I was wrong. It originated in South America. Interesting.

Anyway, I've been playing Canasta for as long as I could hold thirteen cards in my hands, which is as long as I can remember. Playing Canasta while visiting my grandparents is one of my fondest memories of childhood. I'm a good card player and I impressed my grandparents. I lived for things like that.

It also reminds me of fond memories of my friend Chris Mason. Chris and I would get together (in more recent times) to play Canasta. She's the only person outside of my family that I've ever met who knew how to play the game. She'd come over, bearing gifts of deli meat for my cat, Jack, and we'd play cards all afternoon. People don't do that kind of stuff anymore. Just get together and play cards. Maybe I'll organize a card playing night with my friends.

Anyway, Chris has since passed away from cancer. My only Canasta partner in town. I'm very excited that Caroline wants to learn. She's a good card player. I know once she gets the hang of it, she'll be a very worthy opponent. It doesn't hurt that I'm giving away some of my strategies along with the rules.

Something about Canasta just makes me feel at home. I hope we play with our children after dinner. Serve Canasta with coffee and vanilla ice cream.

Missing Leisure

2007-07-02T09:04:00.001-04:00

If at all possible, I like to start my day with a leisurely cup of coffee. There's nothing like sitting down, relaxing, and taking that coffee in, savoring every sip. Of course, I don't get this opportunity that often. Mostly just on weekends. And Mondays. I don't work on Mondays. I hate working on Mondays. It just feels cruel to abruptly end your weekend and go back to work. So instead, I work four ten-hour days and take Mondays off. My Monday cup of coffee is the best. Sitting alone, the house is quiet, sipping my coffee. Mmmm....

The ultimate cup of coffee is the vacation coffee. Leisure, leisure, leisure. I don't understand why we take so little vacation in the U.S. It's just not enough to re-energize and reset. I don't have any vacation planned for the rest of the year, so making my coffee drinking as leisurely as possible is critical to my frame of mind.

The last vacation I had was in January, when Caroline, my partner, bought us an Olivia Cruise to the Caribbean. It was so lovely, and leisurely. Last night, we watched a short DVD that Olivia sent us as a keepsake for our cruise. It brought back the luxurious feelings I had that week (I'm jonesing for more vacation).

An Olivia cruise is a decedent experience. To be on a cruise ship with all lesbians is a wild experience. No matter what you do, you're doing it with other lesbians. I can't tell you how amazing that feeling is. And the cruise line is so accommodating. They take their jobs very seriously and I felt extremely comfortable. The down side is that no one I know, including me, can afford to do those cruises with any regularity. They are pricey. More so that your standard cruise line. So it's really only for the most well to-do lesbians. However, I highly recommend taking one. You will be so glad.

It's a luxury cruise. Your room is cleaned twice a day, and the bed turned down at night. The food is wonderful. Four course meals for dinner. Lots of entertainment. Our cruise had a performance from Lily Tomlin, Suzanne Westenhoefer, and the Indigo Girls among others. And, of course, the Caribbean was great! The water was so clear and warm. The beaches were clean. It was just awesome. I fell asleep in the sun everywhere we went. I highly recommend that.

Vacations are for treating yourself. Drink cappuccino. (Personally, I need to start my day with my morning coffee, but cappuccino from then on out.)

Sputnik Sweetheart

2007-06-30T13:54:00.000-04:00

I love weekends with no plans. I'm on my way in my journey to read many books this summer. I just finished reading Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami. He's a Japanese writer and his books are translated into many languages. I really enjoyed this book. The plot twist took me by surprise. I love when that happens. The theme of this book is about human longing and relationships and what becomes of relationships when our desires aren't met.

This book is part of my collection of books written by Asian authors that I'm reading to learn more about the various Asian cultures and history. I think that part of the world is truly mysterious to me since my western eduction didn't focus much on it. My preference for learning is to do it through reading fiction. I believe that there is a great deal of truth in fiction. What I learned from reading Sputnik Sweetheart is how similar Japanese culture is to our own. Yes, I've seen Lost in Translation and, yes, the images of Tokyo are a lot like a modern city in the U.S. But the movie isn't about Japanese people or their habits or culture. It's about human longing. Hmmm....

Anyway, you can't know all there is to know just by watching one film or reading one book. That's why this journey will continue for some time. It's way more fun than reading a history book. Another great Asian, Chinese to be more specific, author is Anchee Min. She writes during the time of Mao and the Cultural Revolution. She's an amazing writer and I've learned a lot about the history of the Communist Party in China through her work. Of course, these aren't history books, so don't be turned off. The plots are wonderful and I always feel so satisfied when I finish one of her books. I can't even recommend one over the other, but I'll try. I really loved Wild Ginger and Becoming Madame Mao. But Red Azalea was the first book I read of Min's and it will always have a special place for me.

Anyway, my next book is ... well I'll just write about it later.

Try an iced latte with your summer reading. Yum.

Kudos for Trudeau

2007-06-29T19:06:00.000-04:00

G.B. Trudeau, author of the political comic strip Doonesbury, has taken on the topic of MST in this week's strip. MST stands for Military Sexual Trauma. Here's the strip, reprinted without permission.

GBT doesn't assume he can really take the perspective of a MST victim, but he brings attention to the issue in a very sensitive way. His desire to write about the ills of our society is very respectable. He could always come up with a story to mock W, but he continues to explore uncharted territory. That's all I want to say.

p.s. He also has a great forum for soldiers serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. It's call the Sandbox. I think it's wonderful that he provides a space where they can describe what's happening in their own words.

How I got my start in caffeine

2007-06-27T18:01:00.000-04:00

After you reach a certain age, you can't remember the first time you drank coffee. It's been a part of my life so long, I don't remember the first sip. But I know that first taste occurred at a young age.

Coffee is a big part of family life (even dysfunctional ones). Like most adults, my parents drank coffee every morning. But the coffee moments that have the most significance are the after-dinner coffees with my grandparents. Like clockwork, when we finished eating, we had coffee. No, they weren't serving me coffee. They served me coffee-flavored milk. And it was good.

It was enough to give me the taste for coffee. And as I got older, my coffee-flavored milk became milky coffee.

Because I knew I liked coffee, and because my parents drank it every morning, I decided in high school that I would also drink it every morning. Now, what I considered coffee then, is actually something I consider quite blasphemous now. Brace yourself. My parents drank instant coffee. And used powdered creamer. Yep. Horrible, right? Yet, I always strove to create the perfect cup. In the evening, I would set up the cup so that all I had to do was pour in the hot water. I would put in a teaspoon of coffee (or whatever serving it was), a teaspoon of creamer and sugar and I'd stir it all together so it was blended. Then when I poured the hot water in all the flavors would blend.

It sounds disgusting now. Fake coffee and cream. Yuck. And sugar in my coffee. Yuck. However, that's how it started. I drank that concoction a long time. I'm not exactly sure when the transition to real coffee happened. I wasn't averse to drinking brewed coffee, but I just didn't know anything about it. Things changed when I got a job at a cafe. There was an espresso machine there. And brewed coffee. Around the same time, I developed a taste for espresso drinks, similar to the coffee-flavored milk I used to drink as a kid. For a while, I was drinking breves daily. That's intense. Espresso and steamed cream. The size of a latte. Yum. Decedent. And drinking those can lead to weight gain so I don't recommend making a habit of it.

The first cafe I worked at wasn't so focused on the coffee part. But then I went to work in a French-inspired bakery/cafe. There we served Cafe La Semeuse. It's good ... and expensive. But that was the place I discovered really good coffee. And really good espresso. And there was no turning back. I bought the best coffee-making machinery I could afford (and there are many options from basic to fancy). I bought a coffee grinder so that I would never brew pre-ground coffee again. And I embarked on a life-long journey to find good beans.

Now I've already confessed in previous posts that I drink ground coffee. So you can imagine that my journey has taken a few turns, mostly due to the necessity of rising early for my job. There's nothing that turns an overnight guest away more than the sound of the coffee grinder at 4:30 AM. Something told me I had to grind the coffee in advance and that just led to buying it already ground for me.

So that's my story. I think coffee is an acquired taste, and my journey has some bad chapters in it, but who's doesn't?

Happy brewing.

Gotta tend the earth...

2007-06-24T09:04:00.000-04:00

... if you want a rose. (Indigo Girls, Hammer & a Nail.)

Today is my day to garden. I love to tend my vegetable garden. It's so rewarding to work the dirt and nurture plants.

This year's garden has cucumber, tomato (grape, yellow pear, early girls, and steak), yellow crookneck squash, red bell peppers, zucchini, and herbs (basil, thyme, rosemary, cilantro). Right now, I'm waiting for the grape tomatoes to ripen. There are many. We also have a zucchini and some cucumbers growing. And there are many buds on the other tomato plants. Fruits of my labor. Real fruit! That's gratification.

It's so satisfying to work in the yard. I think it's the feeling of creating something from the earth. Or nurturing something that's alive. Pruning, cutting, tilling the soil, weeding. All day long, five days a week, I sit at a desk under fluorescent lights, the life seeping out of me. When I get home, the garden reminds me of life and growth, reinvigorating me. It allows me perspective on the days I sit in an office, not creating or growing anything.

Actually, I have plants on my desk. I give them a lot of attention. One is a Christmas Cactus, one is a Peace Lily, and I don't know what the other two are called. I talk to them, water them, give them plant food. They are like an oasis on my desk. A reminder that beyond the walls of the office, and the concrete of the city, a lush green world awaits waiting for attention. They are brave plants to be surviving office life.

I just finished reading Falling Boy by Alison McGhee. It was a really good book. It's been a while since I sat down to read a good book and this reminded me that I love to read. It wasn't a book that changed my life, but I enjoyed reading it and I thought it was well written. It's about a boy, Joseph, who is paraplegic, living in a new town and working in a bakery (one of the reasons I liked it, since I, too, used to work in a bakery/cafe). The two people he interacts most with are a brother and sister who have some interesting issues and have this desire to see Joseph as a superhero. The story of the brother and sister and Joseph's past unfolds in the book. It's a short book (208 pages) and worth the read.

Career Day

2007-06-22T21:41:00.000-04:00

Sometimes we laugh at things because they are just painfully true. That's why I love this Dilbert strip.

That's me, spending forty hours a week in a cubicle, pretending that the fluorescent light is really the sun and that my computer screen is a window into the world. Luckily, I don't have the idiot supervisor that uses fear to coerce work. But my office is rows of cubicles in what are called "six packs." That's how they come, like a six pack.

I feel like I'm being warehoused. Aged to retirement. In the summer, we try to get out of the office. Our work (which shall remain a mystery) requires it. But in the winter, we're like bears that hibernate. I rarely see the sun and suffer from seasonal affective disorder because of it.

But the upside of it all, if you can call it that, is the camaraderie that I have with my coworkers. It's like we're surviving the warehousing together. Something a little more mild than POWs.

And, I shouldn't have to say this, but I will, one key component to survival is coffee. The caffeine flowing through your blood reminds you you're alive and kicking.

Baltimore was beautiful today. It was 80 degrees with a fabulous cool breeze. You could drink hot or iced coffee and be comfortable. The evening cooled down to 70. I wouldn't guess this is a Baltimore summer, but I know that ever oppressive humidity is on its way.

Coming up in future posts I'll talk about Michael Bloomberg, Mayor of New York City and possible third party presidential candidate. I'll also discuss how Starbucks has worn me down.

7-Eleven Coffee

2007-06-21T07:39:00.000-04:00

Like most people, I need to have coffee to start my day. I usually prepare a pot at home to get me through my morning routine. But I often find that's not enough to get me started at work, so once I get to work, I buy another cup of coffee. 7-Eleven coffee.

The coffee station at 7-Eleven is brewing like mad between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m. They must have at least fourteen different pots with all sorts of flavors. This isn't coffee that's been sitting around waiting for takers. A 7-Eleven employee mans the station brewing constantly. I drink the hazelnut.

But why 7-Eleven? You probably think I have no other choice, but not so. Actually, on the same block there is a Dunkin' Donuts and, wait for it, a Starbucks. But for my morning fix, I drink 7-Eleven. Hazelnut.

Let's get the easy one out of the way. Dunkin' Donuts. Their coffee isn't actually that bad. However, why do they insist on fixing it themselves? I don't like for others to put cream in my coffee (except for my sweetheart who knows just how I like it). Just because I like cream in my coffee doesn't mean I want my coffee to look pale. There is an exact shade of creaminess that only I know. Therefore, I've never been happy with a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee. And frankly, even though the coffee is not that bad, it's really not that good either. Dunkin' Donuts does donuts, and coffee is an afterthought. I don't like afterthought coffee.

But why not Starbucks? I mean, Starbucks is all about coffee, right? Well, yes, I suppose. Starbucks is the McDonald's of coffee. There's no room for variation. There's an exact formula for coffee and coffee drinks. I don't believe that's how coffee should be made. Coffee is a personal experience. A person who makes coffee or espresso drinks should understand the art of coffee and feel a connection between themselves and the drink they are creating. But Starbucks doesn't want that. Most chains don't want that. They need consistency to sell their product. They want you to know that no matter which Starbucks you enter, you will get the same taste every time. And the taste of a regular cup of joe just isn't that good. I don't agree with the Starbucks brewing technique. I don't know what they do, but I don't like the results. The coffee is either too bitter or acidic. I like a smooth, full-bodied coffee. Starbucks coffee tastes burnt or stale to me. Now, if I want a latte or iced latte, I will go to Starbucks. But I don't drink those everyday. For my morning jump start, it's got to be a regular cup of joe.

Okay, so given that I'm a coffee snob, how do I bring myself to drink regular ole coffee from 7-Eleven? I like the simplicity of it. They know they are brewing just regular coffee. And they know how important that coffee is to the scores of coffee drinkers that come in every morning. They have that connection. Someone is there to watch over the coffee counter, wipe it down regularly, brew coffee as soon as it's needed, wipe down the counter again, make sure the cream is full, make sure you have everything you need to make that essential cup of joe. It's just that simple. Is it good? Well, it's not great. It's not that kind of coffee great that you get at a good restaurant after a fabulous meal. Or that kind of bagel shop great where the folks know a bagel tastes better with a great cup of coffee. But it's definitely good enough. And I just drink the flavored kind to make up for the lack of quality. It's a psychological trick, but it works.

You'll find that my coffee snobbery works in mysterious ways, but after a while you'll catch on to what I find important in the world of java.

So today is a very happy day for me. My partner, Caroline, just returned from a 10-day trip to Finland during which time we didn't get to communicate that much. I missed her terribly. But this morning we woke up together and everything felt right and normal again. Driving into work, I felt really good. When I stopped into 7-Eleven, they had bananas at just the right ripeness, and that made me even happier. So when I got to the counter, I decided today would be a good day to buy a scratch-off lottery ticket. I could feel it would be a winner. And it was! $2. That's a 100% return on my money. Life is good.

He's not going to win, but...

2007-06-19T21:07:00.000-04:00

...I love him.

I never heard of Senator Mike Gravel from Alaska until this debate (South Carolina). Even after two terms in the Senate, he believes in peace and he's a radical (comparatively). Listen to what he's got to say. I wish he could be rewarded for his positions with votes, but we don't vote for ideas anymore. Not at this level. Barack and Hillary have already been ordained as the two we get to choose from. I don't have a problem with either of them. I like them both. But they will never say anything too creative or go out on a limb.

Our process for picking candidates guarantees we'll never get anyone that strays too far from the center. The differences will be nuanced. Of course, I desperately want to see a Democrat in the White House, but it's mostly because of what they won't do rather than what they will do. They won't appoint a justice to the Supreme Court who doesn't agree with Roe v. Wade. They won't sign the Federal Marriage Amendment. They won't use gay issues to divide the nation.

But (sadly) I doubt they will provide health care for all. I doubt our schools will improve under a Democrat. The nuance here is that I know under a Republican, we won't have health care for all. I know our schools won't improve. You see the differences are pretty small.

But I don't know if I can survive another term of Republican arrogance. I don't know if our country could survive it. So take a look at Senator Gravel, and dream, just for a second, that our candidates will have such brave ideas. And then just wait and see who wins the fundraising war.

Coffee tip #5: Today was a heat advisory day, with temperatures reaching 100 degrees. For the die hard "don't water down my coffee" iced coffee drinker, try making coffee ice cubes. Put those in your iced coffee and never experience watered down coffee again! Or, put some toothpicks in the ice tray and make coffee popsicles. Yum!

Afraid of the lights

2007-06-18T09:56:00.000-04:00

When I was a kid, I was afraid of the dark. Who knew what horrible monster was waiting to snatch me? Now, that I'm older, I'm more afraid of the lights. What's brought on this 180? Baltimore Gas and Electric, aka BGE.

June 1st marked the beginning of the 50% rate increase BGE customers are now paying. Already expensive bills are now 50% more. Our elected officials, who spent most of last summer campaigning and promising to stop this rate increase, spent last winter doing absolutely nothing to help their constituents. I believe they were all on vacation June 1st when the rate increase took effect. I'm pretty angry about it, if that's not obvious.

Nevertheless, I'm stuck with this rate increase and now a new phobia. I've been walking around the house, turning out the lights in every room. I cook in the dark, only allowing light in the kitchen after I burn myself. Halogen light bulbs, programmable thermostats, whatever it takes. Light-Nazi.

I've put a heavy blanket over the bedroom window to prevent the sun from heating the room. The bedroom is the hottest room in the house because it gets the most exposure to the sun. Luckily the house tends to stay cooler than the temperature outside, but I keep the AC set at 80 degrees to make sure it's not running all day. Typically that setting is sufficient, but when I came home yesterday, the air was running. It was that hot!

BGE says try not to use appliances during peak hours, so I wake up around midnight to start the laundry. Also, I set the dishwasher to run in the middle of the night.

Did you know that computers are energy hogs? I've changed the settings on my laptops to reduce power usage. I don't really need to see the screen all the time anyway.

Global warming isn't helping either. It's rained maybe two times in the last two months. The drought has parched the grass and plants. And the lack of clouds hasn't given the sun a break in a long time. I've got a book on Native American rain dances. I'll be practicing that later.

Onto another topic, I have three cats. This is going to sound like a commercial, but I've struggled with litter box odor. It seems like no matter how often it's cleaned, the litter box always makes my basement stink. Since the basement is also like a den and I spend a lot of time down here (trying to stay cool), that smell drives me crazy. I typically don't like sprays because they are too perfumy and don't mix well with litter box odor. Well, I found something that works great! It's Oust Air sanitizer. I'm not kidding. It's supposed to eliminate odor and it really works. And it smells good. I bought the outdoor scent and it smells so good. It's my new favorite thing. I highly recommend it.

Finally, coffee tip #4. It's hot outside and you want a refreshing iced latte. When you make iced latte, pour the milk over the ice before putting in the shots of espresso. If you pour the espresso over the ice first, the ice will melt and water down the coffee. Or you could pour the ice into the already prepared latte, but I find that to result in splashed coffee.

Baltimore needs more drag queens

2007-06-16T22:30:00.000-04:00

Happy Pride, Baltimore! It's that time again to celebrate our queerness. I love this time of year. It's my favorite month (starts off with my birthday). It's my favorite season. And right in the middle of it, we have this great celebration.

Pride!

My favorite thing about Pride is the display of outrageousness. But this is where my hometown disappoints. Baltimore is home to some scary drag queens. Listen, I love drag queens. The effort that goes into transforming oneself and then entertaining us is amazing. Or not. In Baltimore, our drag queens leave something to be desired. And I think the problem is that there just aren't enough of them. Competition breeds creativity. Well, we lack competition here in Charm City.

Pride weekend is the time for queers to show what they are made of, to be the most outrageous we can be. I was disappointed that the block party, which should bring out the freakiest of our folk, really lacked any sense of grandiosity. The best we had to offer was these three lovely gals (sorry for the poor quality, took the picture with my phone). The one on the left was very impressive with her headdress of fresh flowers.

There is some hope for us who love drag queens. Andora Te'tee (shown above), Miss Gay Maryland 2006, is truly lovely. I met the fellow behind Andora years ago, before he was 21, and he aspired to be a drag queen. And he followed that dream to its fullest and truly embodies the energy of a glamorous woman. You can see the effort he makes to look like a woman. I love it.

Baltimore drag is like the ugly, illegitimate child of Washington, DC and New York. We try so hard to get attention, but we just don't get it. Despite our challenges, there are those in this town dedicated to keeping hope alive by hosting drag shows and providing a venue for our struggling drag queens. The Hippo is the center of our drag community. They are the proud sponsors of the Miss Gay Maryland contest. They even plan drag king shows when kings are available. Friday nights are Female Impersonation night. And there's always a drag queen on hand for Gay Bingo.

I'm not trying to be over critical here. Goodness knows those drag queens are (at times) more feminine then I'll ever be. I just think Baltimore needs to get over its low self-esteem. Baltimore can be home to a thriving, creative gay scene. Let's just do it instead of going to DC or New York to get our fix.

A few things about coffee beans

2007-06-15T18:29:00.000-04:00

Big coffee tip #3.

Many coffee drinkers are completely unaware of how their caffeine fix comes into being. Most know that coffee originates from berries, that are defruited and roasted. But what the hell are all the names about? What do they tell me? For a good summary of coffee, look here.

But there's a few things you should know for your own preparation. First, coffee beans should have a strong aroma. The roasting process brings out the aroma of a bean. If your beans don't have a strong smell, they won't have a good flavor. It will taste like water dressed in brown.

The second is color. The best beans are dark colored. A lot of people feel that the darker the bean, the stronger the coffee, but strength is only partly about roasting. Mostly strength is a result of preparation. So stick with the darkest bean. The darker the bean, the better.

Finally, beans should be oily. Roasting brings out the oil of a bean. A well roasted bean will be oily and the oils will add body and flavor to your coffee. When making espresso, the oil results in the crema which is the light colored foam on top. A sign of good espresso is the creamy consistency of the crema.

So what does all this mean to you? You buy your beans in a bag, you can't tell what they look like until you get home, right? Well, you should take a closer look. Bad coffee beans can result in a bad coffee trip. Shaking and headaches are the result of bad beans.

For the best cup of coffee, buy your beans whole and grind them right before brewing. I'm not going to get into the different grinds here, but for regular drip, I'd grind it about ten to fifteen seconds. Then brew with cold water. The amount you use will determine the strength of your coffee. Some recommend two tablespoons for every 6 oz. cup. That's a bit too strong for me. I usually use about 1.5 tablespoons for every cup.

Achieving coffee perfection takes a lot of dedication, and time. Frankly, if you came to my house, you'd see I buy my coffee already ground. I drink Peet's coffee. This company dedicates itself to the greatness of coffee, so I leave my coffee well-being in their hands. I haven't been let down yet.

Finally, for all you flavored coffee drinkers, a little piece of important trivia. Flavored coffees are made from the weakest (as in quality) beans. Now, I'm not getting snobby here. I drink flavored coffee myself, but you should know what you're getting into when you drink that hot java. If you want to stick with a better brew, but still want flavor, add a shot of flavored syrup.

Enjoy!

Another victory for gay marriage!

2007-06-14T21:38:00.000-04:00

Today is a great victory for gay marriage. The Massachusetts state legislature defeated a bill that would have sent an amendment to define marriage as between a man and a woman to referendum. Since the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that gays and lesbians are entitled to marriage under the state's constitution, forces have been mobilized to take that right away by amending their constitution. The process to amend the state constitution takes several years. By defeating the amendment in the legislature, the process to amend the constitution will have to start all over.

It's already been three years since gay marriage was legal in Massachusetts. At this point, everyone has issue fatigue. Gays got married and life as we know it hasn't altered dramatically. The country is finally focusing (at least more so) on issues of real importance, like the disaster in Iraq. Most of the country is looking forward to deciding the next president. Most of us are not looking to turn back time and take away the right to marry from gays and lesbians.

This change will take time, but it's happening. We're witnessing a slow revolution and full equality and citizenship for gays and lesbians is not far off. That sounds pretty lofty, but I can't help but feel hopeful that after all these years living under an oppressive administration, we're finally gaining ground. This is despite having the Republicans in control for so long. If Bush couldn't stop our progress, the next president won't be able to. And I doubt the next president will put so much emphasis on these social issues since it hasn't done much to help the American people.

Maybe I'm just dreaming, but it feels good.

Peace, man.

How to get your news

2007-06-13T20:29:00.000-04:00

I'm a political junky and a bit wonkish. I read three newspapers daily. Not cover to cover, actually, especially not cover to cover. No, each daily provides a specialty and each daily provides a different fix.

The Baltimore Sun gives me my dose of local news. I read two sections of the paper - the Maryland section and the Opinion section. I used to read the editorials, but I don't bother anymore. I do read the Letters to the Editor. The Letters section is the most read section of the newspaper. I'm interested in public opinion on local issues. Just a note, you have to read that section with a grain of salt. The editors of the Letters section have to publish a "balance" of letters. So even if they get 100 letters supporting an issue and 10 letters opposing the issue, the paper will publish 2 of each. Never the less, since it is the most read section of the paper, I read it.

I get my political news from the Washington Post. Being in the nation's capital, the Post has an advantage over other papers. The Post can get behind the scenes in that way that a hometown gal can give you the best tour of her town. And, I have to admit, it's a little gossipy. And I like that. I like it when we get a little caddy with the politicians. Also, I think the Post has the best editorial cartoonist - Tom Toles. Check out the way he draws George Bush!

Finally, I get my national and international news from the New York Times. The great thing about the Times is the in-depth coverage of the issue or event. When I haven't followed an issue, I go to the Times to get caught up. Sometimes the articles read like dissertations, but its worth it. My other favorite feature of the Times is Paul Krugman. He's an economist and his column is published on Tuesdays and Fridays. Krugman is a great columnist. Don't worry about the economist part, he writes about all sorts of stuff, and best yet, he calls Bush a liar and an idiot and then proves it. What I must object to, and if anyone with pull at the Times reads this, take note, what the hell is this Times Select crap? The website used to be 100% accessible, then one day someone decided to take some of the best features and charge you to look at them. That ended my love affair with Paul Krugman's columns, because I refuse to pay eight bucks a month to look at a website.

So that's the line-up of morning newspapers. When I want to add a little variety, I add the L.A. Times or the San Francisco Chronicle.

Recommended beverage for newspaper reading - hot coffee, light, no sugar.

Resuscitating the Immigration Debate

2007-06-12T20:15:00.000-04:00

When the U.S. Congress doesn't know how to solve a problem, it resorts to what it does best - nothing. Everyone can agree on one thing - illegal immigration is a problem. But the agreement ends there and rather than compromise on a solution, many agree the best solution is no solution at all.

I don't have much of an opinion on the immigration debate. Well, at least not an informed one. I feel uneasy that I want to see immigration reform and so does President Bush. Maybe that's the extent to what we have in common. I don't understand all the issues. (Maybe Bush and I have that in common too.) When the bill died in the Senate, I read the Washington Post to learn more about what happened. The Post had a great summary on the debate, but it may be a little too simplistic. I also heard an opinion from a conservative group on NPR.

What I (think I) understand is that the U.S. has approximately 12 million illegal immigrants living in the country today. Rather than putting a whole bunch of money into extracting these illegal immigrants, the bill would provide them with a legal status to live in the U.S. The compromise in the bill is that Congress and the President would also fund additional immigration measures that prevent this situation from arising again. Also, some folks in the Senate want to help the families of immigrants by providing access to the U.S. as well. Apparently, that would add up to an additional 850,000 (not an exact figure) immigrants into the country.

It seemed like there was a coalition of Republicans and Democrats working to get this bill passed, but at the last minute, Republican holdouts stalled the bill indefinitely. "We can't give a free pass to those illegals who have been living in our great country and sucking up our great services," I'm guessing was the bottom line.

I think there are good arguments to be made on both sides. The myth that illegal immigrants don't pay taxes has already been disproved. But do immigrants use more services and remain persistently poverty-stricken? The conservative think tank (Grassfire.org? Search All Things Considered) said so. They said that immigrants that have come to the country after 1978 have remained poor while those who immigrated prior to 1978 lifted themselves out of poverty.

But those who are immigrating to the U.S. are doing it to make a better life for themselves. It's not malicious. They aren't intentionally stealing our goods and services. They are seeking opportunity. And that's the spirit our country was built on.

My bottom line is that a problem still exists and those we pay to solve national problems with policy refuse to do their jobs. Maybe they should be deported.

Coffee tip #2
How often does coffee drip from your coffee cup even though it has a lid? When you buy coffee, make sure the hole you drink from on the lid is not directly over the seam in the cup. It will drip all over you.

The ABCs of Isaiah

2007-06-11T17:55:00.000-04:00

So Isaiah Washington was fired for using a gay slur. I guess I get to comment on this because I'm gay too. At least that's what my co-worker thought when she asked my opinion. I'm a Grey's Anatomy fan. I don't like to admit it that much, but one of the reasons for my newest t.v. addiction was the relationship between Isaiah Washington and Sandra Oh (a.k.a. Burke and Wang). They were a respite from the annoying whining of the title character, Meredith Grey.

But I'm not posting a critique of the t.v. show. I want to talk about the incident which led to Isaiah Washington's departure. The slur was uttered sometime in October. Several cast members were interviewed on various talk shows and Isaiah denied using the slur. I assume he did use the slur. I think it's a good assumption. He's admitted needing some kind of "rehab" which I guess is Hollywood's newest way of trying to get out of being held accountable for stupid shit.

But the point is that he used the slur months ago. Months ago. If ABC was so offended by it, why wasn't he fired then? How convenient that months of perpetuated drama surrounded the show and then after the season ends, Isaiah is fired. Clearly, ABC milked all the free press it was getting out of the controversy and once the season was over, there was no need for him.

And if T.R. Knight hadn't been gay, no one would have cared that Isaiah said "faggot." It's just that he got caught saying it about a real gay person. Why aren't we asking for resignations when anyone uses that word to degrade someone? Because ABC doesn't really care. No one does. You can say anything you want, but don't put the network in an awkward position by saying in front of the actual slurred party.

This isn't about which words are okay to use and which ones aren't. This isn't even about the gay and lesbian community. Who is served by firing Isaiah? Is our cause furthered any? I don't think so. If we are to really move forward from bigotry, we have to have dialogue. Before Isaiah was fired, he said he was doing some soul searching and he scheduled a meeting with GLAAD. Dialogue. Now no one will talk about the meaning of the word "faggot" and why it is a hateful, sometimes violent, word.

If dialogue had occurred, we could have tackled a number of issues, like racism and homophobia. We could have made a new and strong ally for our cause. Instead, we've lost that opportunity. Who's the real winner here? ABC. They got a great season out of Isaiah and then they can look politically correct by firing him. Who loses? The rest of us because we achieved nothing. We didn't create an opportunity from this conflict. Again, we're put back in the closet not to be heard from again until someone utters the word "faggot" in front of a real life gay person.

Welcome

2007-06-08T08:13:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the Caffeine Diary. I hope you will find this blog informative and entertaining. The name "Caffeine Diary" comes from the Dar Williams song "Spring Street." I thought this appropriate for my blog since I have dedicated myself to the pursuit of caffeine excellence. Also, caffeine can inspire rants and I have plenty of those. But for now, here's a caffeine tip:

Summer is approaching (and feels like it's here right now) and iced coffee drinks will be all the rage. To achieve excellence in iced coffee, try this:

Step one: Brew a pot of your favorite coffee (make it extra strong). As soon as brewing is complete, turn off the burner and pour the coffee in a pitcher.*

Step two: Allow the coffee to cool to room temperature. This will prevent condensation from changing the coffee once it is placed in the refrigerator.

Step three: After coffee has cooled to room temperature, refrigerate overnight.

Step four: Pour chilled coffee in a tall glass with ice and enjoy black or with cream and sugar. Enjoy!

*For those of you who enjoy sugar in your coffee, add sugar to the coffee in step 1, stir until it is dissolved.

To achieve iced coffee excellence, please, please do NOT pour hot coffee over ice. This only creates nasty watered-down coffee. Not excellent.

Today it is supposed to reach 99 degrees in Baltimore. Perfect for a nice cup of iced coffee... (However, extremely dangerous to your skin and lungs. Stay inside.)